This weekend has been full of food temptations and I have given in waaayyy too much. I feel full and heavy. Tomorrow morning I will weigh myself and tackle the week anew. I am ready for this. I am also a bit excited because I am taking my dear mother to the airport on Tuesday and she will be gone for almost a month! If you have read my posts in the past you will know that my mom is a bit of a saboteur. She doesnt see it that way in fact she does compliment me on my weight loss often. She means well, its just that food=love to her. It is a vicious cycle that I am trying to overcome.
I have planned out my meals for the week, well, actually for my husband and son. I am going to try and have some Lean Cuisine on days I cook special food for them like chorizo burritos and cheese, potato, beef casserole. I will just feel better being in control of my eating that way.
So, despite the fact that tomorrow morning the scale will not be happy to see me I am still very optomistic.
Have a great week my dear friends!
My Progress
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
55 down
Hey there, Hi there, Ho Ho Ho there. lol
Yesterday was my weigh in day and I lost 3 pounds this last week. Best loss in a long time. Last monday was the first time I came away from a weekend with a loss instead of a gain. I am not quite so hopeful this Monday cause I have already eaten more than usual today AND my mom is making sugar cookies!!!!! I have had 2 and I am going to try my hardest to not have anymore but man oh man it is soooooo difficult.
I also have to say that I had a bad stuck incident. A day or two after thanksgiving I was eating some tri tip and I ate too fast and ended up kneeled down over toilet. It was not fun at all. I had another incident but not as bad as this one. I guess that means my band is about right huh.
I am starting to get comments on my appearance, usually at church when I am dressed up. Here is a pic of me last sunday.
I did feel pretty good that day.
Oh my gosh.......... I have to tell you what just happened. Here I am sitting in my room and my mom comes in holding a plate and looks at me and says "Sweety.....You have lost 55 pounds and I just want to tell you how proud I am of you." and she proceeds to tilt the plate and show me a huge sugar cookie heart she baked for me. OHH MY GOSH. I smiled and said thank you. Am I the only one who thinks this is totally twisted? My husand comes out of the bathroom and looks at the cookie. I told him what she said and he said "here, I will take it" and I said no, i wouldnt want to hurt her feelings so he offered to eat half. Here it is
Yesterday was my weigh in day and I lost 3 pounds this last week. Best loss in a long time. Last monday was the first time I came away from a weekend with a loss instead of a gain. I am not quite so hopeful this Monday cause I have already eaten more than usual today AND my mom is making sugar cookies!!!!! I have had 2 and I am going to try my hardest to not have anymore but man oh man it is soooooo difficult.
I also have to say that I had a bad stuck incident. A day or two after thanksgiving I was eating some tri tip and I ate too fast and ended up kneeled down over toilet. It was not fun at all. I had another incident but not as bad as this one. I guess that means my band is about right huh.
I am starting to get comments on my appearance, usually at church when I am dressed up. Here is a pic of me last sunday.
I did feel pretty good that day.
Oh my gosh.......... I have to tell you what just happened. Here I am sitting in my room and my mom comes in holding a plate and looks at me and says "Sweety.....You have lost 55 pounds and I just want to tell you how proud I am of you." and she proceeds to tilt the plate and show me a huge sugar cookie heart she baked for me. OHH MY GOSH. I smiled and said thank you. Am I the only one who thinks this is totally twisted? My husand comes out of the bathroom and looks at the cookie. I told him what she said and he said "here, I will take it" and I said no, i wouldnt want to hurt her feelings so he offered to eat half. Here it is
I managed to consume 1/3 of it before my son saved me from myself.
Every day is a struggle to make the right decisions. I will have to make up for the ones I made today. I know that and I will have to live with that. I can and will and I am not going to beat myself up for it.
Have a good one people!
Friday, November 25, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was nice. We had it here at our house. I tried a few recipes I had found and they were a hit. I was very happy with my eating but it was strange that my stomach kind of hurt after I ate. Hard to explain. It wasn't like anything got stuck but I just felt an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. It went away after about a half hour or so.
Today is a different story. Today is Black Friday but I will have no part in that (except online) cause I really hate shopping with tons of people around and then to have the madness that ensues is ugly so, no thank you. So, what have I dont today? Well, not a lot. I have watched movies, fb'd and even took a nap. Oh wait wait, I have also eaten. I am not happy about my choices today or I should say my serving sizes. I always regret it later, just wish I could control myself at the time. I seriously need to learn control.
I gained a pound also, no big deal. Probably another one today but I will get it under control. I just need to get back to work. Being home is a killer for me. As much as I want to have a few days off, the idle time at home usually ends in overeating. I know I know, keep busy but I dont really feel like doing anything. I wish I felt like quilting but I really dont.
I have had some people compliment me on my weight loss so that is real nice. Oh, and I fit into some size 20 jeans that i had put away when I moved on to 22's. I kinda need to go through my clothes again but i dont feel like ive changed THAT much yet. Maybe in another 10-20 pounds.
Peace out
Today is a different story. Today is Black Friday but I will have no part in that (except online) cause I really hate shopping with tons of people around and then to have the madness that ensues is ugly so, no thank you. So, what have I dont today? Well, not a lot. I have watched movies, fb'd and even took a nap. Oh wait wait, I have also eaten. I am not happy about my choices today or I should say my serving sizes. I always regret it later, just wish I could control myself at the time. I seriously need to learn control.
I gained a pound also, no big deal. Probably another one today but I will get it under control. I just need to get back to work. Being home is a killer for me. As much as I want to have a few days off, the idle time at home usually ends in overeating. I know I know, keep busy but I dont really feel like doing anything. I wish I felt like quilting but I really dont.
I have had some people compliment me on my weight loss so that is real nice. Oh, and I fit into some size 20 jeans that i had put away when I moved on to 22's. I kinda need to go through my clothes again but i dont feel like ive changed THAT much yet. Maybe in another 10-20 pounds.
Peace out
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Life happens!
I dont want to feel guilty for not posting but it's hard. Same ol stupid story: wish i would post daily so I could record my struggles or accomplishments but nooooo life happens and time goes by.
Last Wednesday I had my appointment and got a fill. It was an interesting appointment. The doctor asked me if I would be willing to talk to a couple in the next room. He felt that my experience would be helpful. I told him that i have struggled and am trying to learn from my mistakes but if I wanted the easy way I shouldve gotten the bypass. I told him that I am still able to eat alot of food and the only time I have an issue is when I eat too fast or something too dry (only happened a few times). I was given another fill and told to do 2 days clear, 2 days creamy liquids and then soft for 2 days. I have stuck to that (basically) lol
My fear is the coming holiday. Food is in abundance and I am scared. I pray this fill will help control my behavior.
The weather is getting colder too and this makes me want to bake. Tonight I experimented and made some Nutter Butter Balls. I was at the Dollor store and they had a bag of nutter butter crumbs so I got the idea. I gave my son and his friend one and will send the few more that I made with my husband to work. Ok, i had one :)
Last Wednesday I had my appointment and got a fill. It was an interesting appointment. The doctor asked me if I would be willing to talk to a couple in the next room. He felt that my experience would be helpful. I told him that i have struggled and am trying to learn from my mistakes but if I wanted the easy way I shouldve gotten the bypass. I told him that I am still able to eat alot of food and the only time I have an issue is when I eat too fast or something too dry (only happened a few times). I was given another fill and told to do 2 days clear, 2 days creamy liquids and then soft for 2 days. I have stuck to that (basically) lol
My fear is the coming holiday. Food is in abundance and I am scared. I pray this fill will help control my behavior.
The weather is getting colder too and this makes me want to bake. Tonight I experimented and made some Nutter Butter Balls. I was at the Dollor store and they had a bag of nutter butter crumbs so I got the idea. I gave my son and his friend one and will send the few more that I made with my husband to work. Ok, i had one :)
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
scale whore, moods and dreaded holidays
I have failed so often since my surgery to keep my blog updated with my day to day life and the struggles with my diet. Here it is Wednesday and I'm blogging.........seems like a miracle. I usually only get on to weigh-in.
Sunday evening something very interesting happened. My husband and I were at a book study at our church. There were only a few people there so it was nice and intimate. Somehow a friend (not real close) and I got to talking about our mothers. We talked about how we as mothers love our children but they wont love us the same and so forth. I shared how I have a really hard time showing my mother love. I do love her, she is an amazing woman but its just weird. I dont know if its cause we live together or what. It was amazing cause this friend and I really understood eachother. I guess you had to be there.
So this weekend was ok but my eating was not great. Damn you McDonalds for bringing McRib back!
So here I go again, playing make-up with my diet....trying to undue what I did for the weekend. Will I ever learn? Umm, I thought I had.....umm no. I was up 2.5 pounds on Monday. I lost 1.5 yesterday so as of this morning I only had one pound to lose to be back to my low which was 233.........50 pounds down! Ugh, how aweful to put myself through this.
Today I had new determination. I challenged myself to not snack on junk, and you know there is plenty of candy around right now. In fact, my 1st client today was throwing away some candy and I decided to take it and give it to my son (he didnt go trick-or-treating) so I bagged it and put it in the back of my car. I was so proud of myself when I was able to give him the candy and announce that I had not eaten any. YaY!
My mom made this casserole but I did not have any, which she understood. It consisted of ground beef, potatoes, lots of cheese and mushroom soup. I opted for a salad with a chicken patty chopped up on top. For lunch I had a lean cuisine and breakfast some steel cut oatmeal. Oh and I did have some celery sticks with about a tbsp of reduced fat peanut butter.
I am also going to concentrate on upping my water intake. I know this will help.
Another thing, back to my mom...... Every morning I have been weighing myself cause I really need to know when I am doing good and when I am not. This is how I rationalize being a scale whore. But I do have to say that it often determines my moods and THAT I do not like. Why is it that when my mom says Good Morning to me I just grunt? Is it cause I just need to be left alone while I try and wake up or am I taking my grumpiness, due to scale, out on her? I mentioned that on Sunday night. Why do I always seem like I am in a bad mood? Why do I take it out on her? I dont want to be that kind of person.
It isnt nice when a mirror has been put to your face and you realize you dont like what you see. This happened recently with a banded friend and I know I ruined our relationship. I overstepped my bounderies. This time it is me who has shined a mirror on myself. I dont often like what I see. And please understand I am not talking about my outer looks. I have to tackle one aspect at a time and improve it. It isnt easy but I have too. I want to be a better person, a better friend, better wife, mom and daughter.
Ok, on to one last issue. I am terrified of the holidays. Food scares me already. I better start praying now. I will talk more about this in another post.......this one is long enough.
Sunday evening something very interesting happened. My husband and I were at a book study at our church. There were only a few people there so it was nice and intimate. Somehow a friend (not real close) and I got to talking about our mothers. We talked about how we as mothers love our children but they wont love us the same and so forth. I shared how I have a really hard time showing my mother love. I do love her, she is an amazing woman but its just weird. I dont know if its cause we live together or what. It was amazing cause this friend and I really understood eachother. I guess you had to be there.
So this weekend was ok but my eating was not great. Damn you McDonalds for bringing McRib back!
So here I go again, playing make-up with my diet....trying to undue what I did for the weekend. Will I ever learn? Umm, I thought I had.....umm no. I was up 2.5 pounds on Monday. I lost 1.5 yesterday so as of this morning I only had one pound to lose to be back to my low which was 233.........50 pounds down! Ugh, how aweful to put myself through this.
Today I had new determination. I challenged myself to not snack on junk, and you know there is plenty of candy around right now. In fact, my 1st client today was throwing away some candy and I decided to take it and give it to my son (he didnt go trick-or-treating) so I bagged it and put it in the back of my car. I was so proud of myself when I was able to give him the candy and announce that I had not eaten any. YaY!
My mom made this casserole but I did not have any, which she understood. It consisted of ground beef, potatoes, lots of cheese and mushroom soup. I opted for a salad with a chicken patty chopped up on top. For lunch I had a lean cuisine and breakfast some steel cut oatmeal. Oh and I did have some celery sticks with about a tbsp of reduced fat peanut butter.
I am also going to concentrate on upping my water intake. I know this will help.
Another thing, back to my mom...... Every morning I have been weighing myself cause I really need to know when I am doing good and when I am not. This is how I rationalize being a scale whore. But I do have to say that it often determines my moods and THAT I do not like. Why is it that when my mom says Good Morning to me I just grunt? Is it cause I just need to be left alone while I try and wake up or am I taking my grumpiness, due to scale, out on her? I mentioned that on Sunday night. Why do I always seem like I am in a bad mood? Why do I take it out on her? I dont want to be that kind of person.
It isnt nice when a mirror has been put to your face and you realize you dont like what you see. This happened recently with a banded friend and I know I ruined our relationship. I overstepped my bounderies. This time it is me who has shined a mirror on myself. I dont often like what I see. And please understand I am not talking about my outer looks. I have to tackle one aspect at a time and improve it. It isnt easy but I have too. I want to be a better person, a better friend, better wife, mom and daughter.
Ok, on to one last issue. I am terrified of the holidays. Food scares me already. I better start praying now. I will talk more about this in another post.......this one is long enough.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
50 Pounds and 100 blog posts
I lost that 1/2 pound to finally get me to 50 pounds down. Yay! Now today I have to say has not been a good day as far as my eating is concerned. I was off and decided I was not going anywhere all day. Only thing I really did was unpack some winter clothes and washed them. Besides that I spend the day chilling, playing on FB and watching tv........and ohhhhhh yes eating. I dont feel real good, sluggish and bloated. I didn't weigh this morning and I am not going to weigh in tomorrow. I will weigh in on Monday and assess the damages. I know I can get back on track.
I also noticed I hit 100 blog post (last one)! That seems pretty cool. I would like to go back and read it but it seems like I have not time. I'm sure I do I just dont manage my time very well when I am at home.
Every once in a while I see a thing on dashboard that mentiones getting your blog published. Has anyone you know done that? Just wondering.
I hate that I have resorted to once a week blogging. I know there are issues I should try to deal with during my week but as I mentioned before.........time is not there.
Enjoy your weekend people!
I also noticed I hit 100 blog post (last one)! That seems pretty cool. I would like to go back and read it but it seems like I have not time. I'm sure I do I just dont manage my time very well when I am at home.
Every once in a while I see a thing on dashboard that mentiones getting your blog published. Has anyone you know done that? Just wondering.
I hate that I have resorted to once a week blogging. I know there are issues I should try to deal with during my week but as I mentioned before.........time is not there.
Enjoy your weekend people!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Amazing week
Last week sucked because I had to work so hard at losing the few pounds I had gained over the weekend. When I approached this week I was determined not to make the same mistake. By Monday morning I was down a pound so I did great over the weekend. This week has been an exhausting one. I have one more house to clean today which will make 8 for the week. Today's house is huge and it will take me 6-7 hours. I am shooting for 6 but its usually 7.
What I am totally learning from having the Band is that it is still really hard work. If you want an easy way to lose weight go for the bypass. I still have to pick my food very carefully, eat slow (still a problem) and only serve myself a small portion (yes, I can eat alot). I know the band is there and working cause i have had a few stuck moments that are very uncomfortable. It happened when I ate something too fast or didnt chew well enough.
But I have to say that the thing that has helped me the most this week is not snacking in between meals. So simple but so profound! I am down 5.5 pounds this week. Yes, it is true lol but i have to say that it has taken soooo much willpower. Like last night I made chili size (hamburgers open faced with chili on top) but no I did not have that. I just had a small bowl of chili. For lunch i had a smart ones meal and breakfast was some steel cut oatmeal. Oh and I did have a banana in between breakfast and lunch.
So as of today I am down 49.5 pounds! UUUHHHHMAZING. I wish it was .5 more so I could shout 50 down 50 down! but i will wait lol
Have a fabulous weekend friends!
What I am totally learning from having the Band is that it is still really hard work. If you want an easy way to lose weight go for the bypass. I still have to pick my food very carefully, eat slow (still a problem) and only serve myself a small portion (yes, I can eat alot). I know the band is there and working cause i have had a few stuck moments that are very uncomfortable. It happened when I ate something too fast or didnt chew well enough.
But I have to say that the thing that has helped me the most this week is not snacking in between meals. So simple but so profound! I am down 5.5 pounds this week. Yes, it is true lol but i have to say that it has taken soooo much willpower. Like last night I made chili size (hamburgers open faced with chili on top) but no I did not have that. I just had a small bowl of chili. For lunch i had a smart ones meal and breakfast was some steel cut oatmeal. Oh and I did have a banana in between breakfast and lunch.
So as of today I am down 49.5 pounds! UUUHHHHMAZING. I wish it was .5 more so I could shout 50 down 50 down! but i will wait lol
Have a fabulous weekend friends!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Excited and frusterated at same time
Why, you may be asking. Well, last weekend I overate and gained 5 pounds, yes 5 frickin pounds. So all this week I have been making up for it and as of this morning I have lost 4.5 of that. Wow, yes, that is pretty good but imagine if I hadn't gained all that how much I would be down. Lesson (I better frickin) learn.
So, as I am coming up to a weekend we shall see how much I have actually learned :)
Just realized that this is my 100th blog entry! Wow
Have a great day friends!
Have a great day friends!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Bad Week
So I made it to the gym once this week.......not good. Boy it really helped when my son was going to practice. He started wrestling this week, well, one practice so that is when I went. Last night he could have gone but he had lots of homework. I also got a call from the councelor's office. His Spanish teacher wants a conference. Yes I am not thrilled. My son's grades are not very good right now. He has a terrible time being organized and lost his binder for Spanish and really hates that class so I know he kinda gave up. Well, I talked and talked and talked with him. Sometimes I feel like I am turning blue from trying to figure out how to motivate him. I told him he has 2 weeks to improve his grades or wrestling is out. I hope that works.
So besides no regular gym visits and a bit too much snacking I am up 1.5 pounds. My mom's mom (oma) passed away on tuesday too. I know my mom is not looking forward to weighing in. I feel bad for her. I know that when I am home all day all I want to do is snack and she is home all the time. She has been making beanies and scarfs though. I hope she doesnt get tired of making them. I like to buy her yarn. I like that she is getting into something.
I wish I had more time but I got to get my son up. I will have to drive him to school again cause he missed the bus. I let him sleep. He has been staying up too late this week. Next week will be different.
Have a great weekend friends!
So besides no regular gym visits and a bit too much snacking I am up 1.5 pounds. My mom's mom (oma) passed away on tuesday too. I know my mom is not looking forward to weighing in. I feel bad for her. I know that when I am home all day all I want to do is snack and she is home all the time. She has been making beanies and scarfs though. I hope she doesnt get tired of making them. I like to buy her yarn. I like that she is getting into something.
I wish I had more time but I got to get my son up. I will have to drive him to school again cause he missed the bus. I let him sleep. He has been staying up too late this week. Next week will be different.
Have a great weekend friends!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
weigh-in
I lost 1.5 pounds this week bringing my total to 46. Hitting 50 down will be pretty awesome, cant wait for that.
I still struggle with the emotional part of losing weight. I think I want to eat when I know my body doesn't really want it. I have to force myself to NOT eat something when I wanna. I pray this will get easier. I dont want to feel this compulsion. I dont want to feel like I have no power. My mom and husband say Im doing a great job but I have to tell them how I struggle and how it isnt easy. I wonder if they wonder about how much this surgery has actually helped me. I guess I am still figuring that out. I have never been real in-tune with my body so it can be hard to tell. It would probably be a great idea if I started writing down how I feel after a meal and then how I feel a few hours later and so on.
This weekend has already had its share of challenges. My Oma (my mom's mom) had a stroke and they cant perform surgery so she only had a day or two. This afternoon my mom was on the phone trying to talk with her and I am in the office and I can hear her telling her mom in German how much she loves her and crying. It was heart wrenching. So anyways, trying not to run to food for comfort.
My son also quit football and that totally sucks. I was really enjoying watching him practice and going to the games (even tho they were bad) and also, it forced me to hit the gym between dropping him off and end of practice since we live a few miles outside of town. It was real incentive for me and well, I havent been to gym since wednesday.
I will find my rhythym and be set. But also my husband will be back on mornings so I guess we will see how it goes.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend friends and make wise choices. :)
I still struggle with the emotional part of losing weight. I think I want to eat when I know my body doesn't really want it. I have to force myself to NOT eat something when I wanna. I pray this will get easier. I dont want to feel this compulsion. I dont want to feel like I have no power. My mom and husband say Im doing a great job but I have to tell them how I struggle and how it isnt easy. I wonder if they wonder about how much this surgery has actually helped me. I guess I am still figuring that out. I have never been real in-tune with my body so it can be hard to tell. It would probably be a great idea if I started writing down how I feel after a meal and then how I feel a few hours later and so on.
This weekend has already had its share of challenges. My Oma (my mom's mom) had a stroke and they cant perform surgery so she only had a day or two. This afternoon my mom was on the phone trying to talk with her and I am in the office and I can hear her telling her mom in German how much she loves her and crying. It was heart wrenching. So anyways, trying not to run to food for comfort.
My son also quit football and that totally sucks. I was really enjoying watching him practice and going to the games (even tho they were bad) and also, it forced me to hit the gym between dropping him off and end of practice since we live a few miles outside of town. It was real incentive for me and well, I havent been to gym since wednesday.
I will find my rhythym and be set. But also my husband will be back on mornings so I guess we will see how it goes.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend friends and make wise choices. :)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
2 Months Post Op
Wow, Ok guess I shouldve straightened up before the pic huh? J/k. I was actually sorting some laundry to do. lol I dont particularly like the side of me that makes excuses for something good instead of just embracing it but in this picture I am wearing workout clothes (that I dont work out in, rather I sleep in on occasion) and these shorts are slimming so there is a bulge her and there. Ugh! Ok, well its not like I was wearing spanx but you understand. I have appeared to have lost more inches than actual pounds and that is fine with me. I know that is more important and actually us as women lose more inches due to all the fat. ugh So below is the picture the night before surgery and todays pic. It might be hard to tell due to location but if you see a difference please tell me. I would love to hear that. (dont we all)
The shorts in the first pic are not the same, rather my husbands lounge shorts with pockets.
Im thinking I should wear the black workout shorts under all my clothes in lieu of spanx, they are much more comfortable. lol
I think I might go make some more pics with the same clothes and same place and then we will see the difference. I have some pics from when I first started losing and that would be even more noticable. I still have so much to lose but I know I am on the way.
Yesterday a client made my day when he said I looked great. He hadnt seen me in 2 months and said he really notices the difference. That was so great to hear and really helped me the rest of the day to watch my self. Everyday is a struggle especially when I am home. All I want to do is eat. Ugh, hate that. :(
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Weigh-in
I only made it to the gym 2 days this week cause I pulled a muscle on my job tuesday. The back of my leg up to my butt on the right was killing me. I actually woke up in agony tue night. Luckily I had a heating pad and that was the only thing that helped. I had my mom put some ben-gay on my leg but she rubbed it in to much I guess cause it burned soooo bad. But now I am back to normal and will be ready to hit the gym again on Monday.
My mom will not be making the cinnamon rolls this weekend. For one, she is not feeling real well and two I am the one that does the shopping and I didnt buy any yeast. Yes, she was going to make them from scratch. I am relieved. I have mentioned in the past and realize once more that I cant have those things around (in abundance) or I will be in trouble. Remember the cake she made last weekend.......well, I even found myself getting a spoon and getting some batter from the bowl AFTER the cake was made and I had a piece or two. Yes, I have issues and I know I need to work on them.
I have also learned that MY issues with food are not necessarily others peoples issues with food. There is a lot of food policing going on in my house especially with my mom (my husband is real bad) and I have in turn done the same to a dear friend and inadvertedly made her feel bad. I am grateful she told me otherwise I would continue my bad behavior and comments and perhaps ruining our relationship. It isnt always nice when someone holds a mirror to your face but it will make you a better person. I feel horrible for causing her any pain and I apologized. I love you dear friend and am very proud of you.
Have a great weekend friends!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Houston, we have a problem!
So are you wondering where the frustration came from. During the movie my mom went to kitchen and I seen her mixing something (kitchen and livingroom are open design) and so I asked her what she was doing. We already had plenty for dinner! My husband got up and said "She is making a cake". "But, no frosting" she says (yeah just sprinkled heavily with powdered sugar) Hmm... so IM THINKING UGGHHH but oh yeah, cake! Within the next 15 hours I proceeded to eat between 3-4 pieces. But before the night was over she even apologized for making the cake. She knows I have a problem. So we move on to Sunday morning. We are all in the car and going to church. My mom says that every weekend she is going to bake something and next weekend it will be cinnamon rolls. Oh boy. First thing I think of is wow, something new to blog about. But on the bright side I have one week to prepare myself.
What would you do to prepare for this challenge?
I have learned that I cant have thing around the house that I love. If I buy chips it is a kind I dont care for and if I buy cookies (hardly ever) then I certainly dont buy the soft chewy chocolate chip kind. I dont feel deprived if it isnt around. But when something is around I am powerless.
Hopefully she will change her mind and not make them. Ok, I better get going.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Good and Bad of Week and Weigh-In
It has been an amazing week, very tiring but not bad. What I have managed to do all week is hit the gym while my son is at practice. This has made me feel very good and proud of myself. I also think it was made easier by the fact that my husband is working nights so he isnt home to tend to. The only downside is that I have not cooked dinner all week which means my mom does. My doctor pointed something out to me and I guess I should be ashamed. I told my doctor that my mom was cooking and one particular night she made chicken and dumplings and I probably didnt sound too thrilled about it. She said to me "Be thankful that you have someone to cook for you and make chicken and dumplings, you can just have less" Ok, so yes, this was kinda like a slap in the face. I guess when I look at food and I see something that I know to be bad for me (not necessarily the C&D) but I think more of quantity than quality. For instance, I will be able to make dinner tonight and the first think I think of is what can I make that is healthy that I can have a lot of! Wow, how terrible is that. No wonder I almost hit 300!
I have got so much to learn about control. I really hate being out of control.
So the good:
1. Made it to gym every day this week (and plan on going again today)
2. I have LOST 2 pounds
3. I get quiet alone time while husband works nights (dont tell him I said that)
The bad:
1. Have not been home to cook wonderfully healthy dishes for family
2. Have to decide if I want to eat my moms food (Man, I sound terrible huh)
So the Good outweighs the bad, that is all that matters. I am so glad it is Friday. As you can see my weigh-in was good. Crazy thing about that is I was 242 every day this week EVEN YESTERDAY and seems the 11th hour strikes again, I dont know how I even gave into a little bowl of macaroni and cheese late last night! crazy but I will take it. My mom on the other hand has gained 3 pounds. I told her to figure out her mistake and learn from it. She said "no more shakes" No, she wasnt having real shakes but more like a smoothy. She has been addicted to these smoothys lately and when she makes one it is huge so she said no more. I tried to tell her to just make a small glass to get the taste but she said no, no more. Hmm, guess I know where I get that attitude from.
Ok, I better head to work now, got one job today but it is a messy one. I like this job though cause I can see how pretty I can make it. Have a fabulous weekend!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Bad Bad Tanya.....or was it?
I am guilty of eating birthday cake ALL weekend! A bite hear and a bite there. Ok, at my son's birthday I was supposed to be on creamy liquids so I blended up some of my chili and that was ok. A little later when everyone was happily eating cake i decided to ......Yep, blend it. I made a cake shake. I actually only hade a couple sips and decided it wasnt worth it. I wasnt enjoying it. So later that night I had a sliver and then the rest of the weekend a bite hear a couple bites there.......you get the idea. Even at church sunday night when I was on soft foods I had some upside down cake. Yes, this weekend was one of those. But happily I didn't eat too much more I GUESS cause my weight was same as on Friday morning (weigh-in) Hallelujah!
Today I am officially onto regular foods. I actually put a crock pot of beans on last night so this morning I made my son and I a couple eggs and a spoon of beans......yum......BUT I didnt feel too great after. I ate too fast. Trying to get my son out the door to make it to the bus in the morning is sometimes very rushed and I did eat too fast. I have to drive him down the road to the bus stop.
I really must go now and prepare something for when I am at work today. I have one house to clean and it usually takes me 6 hours. Have a terrific Tuesday friends!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Needles, Birthday and broth
Made a quick drive up to San Diego to see the doctor (actually seen the assistant) and gave them a progress report. Oh, and I hate their scale! Nothing was mentioned about my weight loss, she just plugged in my measurement #'s and showed me on computer where I was at. I have lost a few inches. She then asked about how I was eating and what I could eat. I told her I could eat anything and I always stop before I actually want to UGH. She then asked me if I wanted 1cc, 1 1/2 cc or 2 cc.......ummm 2, she said ok, then I said "wait, let me ask you........is that being too aggressive?" and she said no, that I knew my body and let me have it *poke*. She then told me that I have to do 2 days of clear, 2 days of creamy and 2 days of soft food. Did I mention that I was throwing a birthday party for my son tomorrow? umm NO, I did not, she might have hesitated. She had me down a shot of water and told me that I might burp, so here I was feeling like I needed to burp on command and I couldnt. She said that was good and if the fill was too much then she would know by now..........water out nose or something like that lol.
So I drove my starving self all the way back home. I hit the GNC for some strawberry protein cause it was last day of sale and then I had to go to Walmart for some sewing needles and mop for client and then to Costco for a few other things. I also had to go to Parent night at my school. Talk about a day Im glad was over. I ended up having like 3 cans of broth, pretty tasty with a little spices.
Today is my son's birthday and he is playing a game in San Diego. I wont be able to make it *sucks* but I have another dr appt and two jobs to do today. I hope the broth I take with me will keep me going. Hmm, my rockstar lemonade is clear lol. Last night I joked with my husband "wine is clear" but I dont think he thought that was funny. Sometimes I think my husband thinks im weird. lol
Oh and my husband is trying real hard this week to have a good weigh in tomorrow but he also is giving in to the chili and nachos im making for the party. He loves it........oh yeah I would too ughh no no, dont feel bad for me, im glad i got fill and on restricted diet.......makes me feel in control. Ok, gotta run for now, have a great weekend all.
So I drove my starving self all the way back home. I hit the GNC for some strawberry protein cause it was last day of sale and then I had to go to Walmart for some sewing needles and mop for client and then to Costco for a few other things. I also had to go to Parent night at my school. Talk about a day Im glad was over. I ended up having like 3 cans of broth, pretty tasty with a little spices.
Today is my son's birthday and he is playing a game in San Diego. I wont be able to make it *sucks* but I have another dr appt and two jobs to do today. I hope the broth I take with me will keep me going. Hmm, my rockstar lemonade is clear lol. Last night I joked with my husband "wine is clear" but I dont think he thought that was funny. Sometimes I think my husband thinks im weird. lol
Oh and my husband is trying real hard this week to have a good weigh in tomorrow but he also is giving in to the chili and nachos im making for the party. He loves it........oh yeah I would too ughh no no, dont feel bad for me, im glad i got fill and on restricted diet.......makes me feel in control. Ok, gotta run for now, have a great weekend all.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Happy Tuesday!
I am feeling pretty awesome today despite the fact that I am up like 5 pounds! Yes, I am but i know exactly why. Last night I had a spicy shrimp cup soup which has tons of sodium. I didnt drink ALL of the broth but 2/3. I have to be very good today. I already took a water pill. I have my appt tomorrow. I pray I will get a fill. I do feel like I get hungry sooner that I should.
So, yes I am feeling pretty good today. I have a house to clean and some shopping for another client today. I think it will be a good day. It is also nice that school is back in session so my houses are usually empty now and easier to clean.
My son is turning 15 this thursday. Seems crazy but true. We are having a little party on Friday full of the cheap staples hot dogs, chili beans, nachos and cake. I am kinda hoping that if I do get a fill I will be put on liquids for a few days and so I wont be as tempted. Guess I will know tomorrow.
Well, I better go for now. Have a great week!
So, yes I am feeling pretty good today. I have a house to clean and some shopping for another client today. I think it will be a good day. It is also nice that school is back in session so my houses are usually empty now and easier to clean.
My son is turning 15 this thursday. Seems crazy but true. We are having a little party on Friday full of the cheap staples hot dogs, chili beans, nachos and cake. I am kinda hoping that if I do get a fill I will be put on liquids for a few days and so I wont be as tempted. Guess I will know tomorrow.
Well, I better go for now. Have a great week!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Weigh-In Day
Right now I am waiting for my son to call me. His Freshman Football team is out of town, they played and WON and I am just waiting for him to call so I can go pick him up. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about food and what I can have.........I hate that. This is the time of day that can break me. I am trying to be strong. I had two houses to clean today so my mom made dinner ..........hot dogs and potatoe salad, just what a dieter needs right. Well, I had some potato salad and not much (about 5pm) and just about an hour ago (9pm) I made a triple berry protein shake, that was good but the potato salad was calling out to me. I pretended not to hear.
Im gonna go for now, have a great Labor day weekend all :)
Friday, August 26, 2011
I must confess.....
I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Ok, just kidding, Ace Ventura, always funny. Anyways, what I must confess is that last week I was not truthful with you and myself. I was so desperate to say that I had hit 40 pounds off that I ignored the half pound that actually was still hanging on and in the way of reaching that goal. So, Im sorry.
This week came and went so quickly again. Football practice, registering son for High School, son to dr for sprained ankle, mother to ER due to low Blood pressure and.... oh, yes, also the 5 houses I cleaned. I still feel guilty for not getting on and recording my good and bad. I did actually track ONE day......I know, I know, p a t h e t i c right. I was also frusterated that I went up a couple pounds (still hovering around 245 most of the time). I did manage to go walking last night and tonight. Last night I felt like crap, like I was super full and uncomfortable. I forced myself to go for a walk for about 40 minutes. Tonight I managed a whole hour which I am really proud of. It kind of helps that I live in the country and well, if I decide to walk for an hour I head off down the ditchbank for 30 minutes and then I turn around.......i then have to keep going if i want to make it home so its nice. Here is a pic of my way back home. My house is passed the trees in the distance. Kinda cool.
Tonight I left my house at 6:30pm and the temp was 112. It didnt bother me though. For some reason I like it. Wait, let me clarify that. I like it when I am walking but not when I am running around town in the car.
Today was one of those awesome days where you feel like you did everything right (for my body) and I am really happy about that. Now, I just have to stay out of kitchen for remainder of night. That is a little tough but I took some Nyquil and Im hoping that will force sleepytime before I get bored and head to the fridge. yes, I have been fighting the cold for about 2 weeks now. I guess its not a cold anymore but I have residual phlem that bugs me. I hope it has nothing to do with me not using the spirometer enough after surgery. Oh, I noticed that today is ONE MONTH IN BANDLAND. Im still waiting for the magical fairies to appear but no such luck.
Oh and since this is friday I guess I should tell you my weigh in. EXACTLY SAME AS LAST WEEK 243.5 Yes, I am being honest this time. That half pound is there. I was actually glad to see the scale this morning though cause like I mentioned I was up to 245 a few days ago and frusterated.
I am still a scale whore. I am refusing therapy for this at the moment but perhaps in the future.
I want to see what it says tomorrow. Imagine if it could actually talk to me. It would probably say "UGH......you again" or perhaps "would you at least put some clothes on before you step on me"......lol
I talked my husband into starting a weight charting things-ma-bob with me. This time we are not actually competing for sexual favors but just keeping track openly. I didnt tell my husband and family what my weight was until we left the hospital. Remember, I had already lost 30+ pounds before surgery. I was that ashamed. I weighed 283 at my highest! I could never tell my husband that.
So now, the cat is out of the bag and I can be honest. I am going to make a cute little chart and record our weight weekly. I even got my mom to get in on the action.
Have a great weekend friends!
This week came and went so quickly again. Football practice, registering son for High School, son to dr for sprained ankle, mother to ER due to low Blood pressure and.... oh, yes, also the 5 houses I cleaned. I still feel guilty for not getting on and recording my good and bad. I did actually track ONE day......I know, I know, p a t h e t i c right. I was also frusterated that I went up a couple pounds (still hovering around 245 most of the time). I did manage to go walking last night and tonight. Last night I felt like crap, like I was super full and uncomfortable. I forced myself to go for a walk for about 40 minutes. Tonight I managed a whole hour which I am really proud of. It kind of helps that I live in the country and well, if I decide to walk for an hour I head off down the ditchbank for 30 minutes and then I turn around.......i then have to keep going if i want to make it home so its nice. Here is a pic of my way back home. My house is passed the trees in the distance. Kinda cool.
Tonight I left my house at 6:30pm and the temp was 112. It didnt bother me though. For some reason I like it. Wait, let me clarify that. I like it when I am walking but not when I am running around town in the car.
Today was one of those awesome days where you feel like you did everything right (for my body) and I am really happy about that. Now, I just have to stay out of kitchen for remainder of night. That is a little tough but I took some Nyquil and Im hoping that will force sleepytime before I get bored and head to the fridge. yes, I have been fighting the cold for about 2 weeks now. I guess its not a cold anymore but I have residual phlem that bugs me. I hope it has nothing to do with me not using the spirometer enough after surgery. Oh, I noticed that today is ONE MONTH IN BANDLAND. Im still waiting for the magical fairies to appear but no such luck.
Oh and since this is friday I guess I should tell you my weigh in. EXACTLY SAME AS LAST WEEK 243.5 Yes, I am being honest this time. That half pound is there. I was actually glad to see the scale this morning though cause like I mentioned I was up to 245 a few days ago and frusterated.
I want to see what it says tomorrow. Imagine if it could actually talk to me. It would probably say "UGH......you again" or perhaps "would you at least put some clothes on before you step on me"......lol
I talked my husband into starting a weight charting things-ma-bob with me. This time we are not actually competing for sexual favors but just keeping track openly. I didnt tell my husband and family what my weight was until we left the hospital. Remember, I had already lost 30+ pounds before surgery. I was that ashamed. I weighed 283 at my highest! I could never tell my husband that.
So now, the cat is out of the bag and I can be honest. I am going to make a cute little chart and record our weight weekly. I even got my mom to get in on the action.
Have a great weekend friends!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Hell Week!
LOL, not for me (title) but for my son. He is gonna be a freshman and in football. I have been going to his practice and of course working so I havent been online much. I feel so guilty about this. I want to keep a better record of how I am doing post op. Today is 25 days post op. How much have I lost? Well, I hate this question cause if I go by their scale at hospital then and mine now, it seems different. Ok, IF we go by hospital scale then and mine now I have lost 12 pounds since surgery. Ok, yes, I will just deal with that.
I have hit a little milestone yesterday. I have lost 40 total so far. That is pretty cool to think about. I will have to post some before and after pics when I hit 50 down.
This last week I seemed to hover around 245 and it was a little frusterating but just before weigh-in I lost and hit the 40 down. I am not eating alot (I dont think) so i feel like I should lose a little bit more but as I mentioned to Ronnie, I really need to track my food intake and see what I might/might not be doing right. I kinda hate tracking but she mentioned that it was easy now that she is used to it. I know it takes a few weeks of doing something for it to become a habit so I should give it some time and then decide to do or not to do...........yes, that is the question.....lol
This week was also a little bit difficult because I was trying to get over a cold and having to clean houses was not fun. But I made it.
Ok, I am really going to try and post more. I need a place to vent my frusterations and also my achievements. I dont think family is always as excited about hearing how my day went ya know. Ok, friends, have a fab weekend and i will talk to ya all later.
I have hit a little milestone yesterday. I have lost 40 total so far. That is pretty cool to think about. I will have to post some before and after pics when I hit 50 down.
This last week I seemed to hover around 245 and it was a little frusterating but just before weigh-in I lost and hit the 40 down. I am not eating alot (I dont think) so i feel like I should lose a little bit more but as I mentioned to Ronnie, I really need to track my food intake and see what I might/might not be doing right. I kinda hate tracking but she mentioned that it was easy now that she is used to it. I know it takes a few weeks of doing something for it to become a habit so I should give it some time and then decide to do or not to do...........yes, that is the question.....lol
This week was also a little bit difficult because I was trying to get over a cold and having to clean houses was not fun. But I made it.
Ok, I am really going to try and post more. I need a place to vent my frusterations and also my achievements. I dont think family is always as excited about hearing how my day went ya know. Ok, friends, have a fab weekend and i will talk to ya all later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)