weigh-in

I lost 1.5 pounds this week bringing my total to 46.  Hitting 50 down will be pretty awesome, cant wait for that.

I still struggle with the emotional part of losing weight.  I think I want to eat when I know my body doesn't really want it.  I have to force myself to NOT eat something when I wanna.  I pray this will get easier.  I dont want to feel this compulsion.  I dont want to feel like I have no power.  My mom and husband say Im doing a great job but I have to tell them how I struggle and how it isnt easy.  I wonder if they wonder about how much this surgery has actually helped me.  I guess I am still figuring that out.  I have never been real in-tune with my body so it can be hard to tell.  It would probably be a great idea if I started writing down how I feel after a meal and then how I feel a few hours later and so on.

This weekend has already had its share of challenges.  My Oma (my mom's mom) had a stroke and they cant perform surgery so she only had a day or two.  This afternoon my mom was on the phone trying to talk with her and I am in the office and I can hear her telling her mom in German how much she loves her and crying.  It was heart wrenching.  So anyways, trying not to run to food for comfort.

My son also quit football and that totally sucks.  I was really enjoying watching him practice and going to the games (even tho they were bad) and also, it forced me to hit the gym between dropping him off and end of practice since we live a few miles outside of town.  It was real incentive for me and well, I havent been to gym since wednesday.

I will find my rhythym and be set.  But also my husband will be back on mornings so I guess we will see how it goes.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend friends and make wise choices. :)