My Progress

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Tomorrow is Monday and time for a fresh start

This weekend has been full of food temptations and I have given in waaayyy too much.  I feel full and heavy.  Tomorrow morning I will weigh myself and tackle the week anew.  I am ready for this.  I am also a bit excited because I am taking my dear mother to the airport on Tuesday and she will be gone for almost a month!  If you have read my posts in the past you will know that my mom is a bit of a saboteur.  She doesnt see it that way in fact she does compliment me on my weight loss often.  She means well, its just that food=love to her.  It is a vicious cycle that I am trying to overcome.

I have planned out my meals for the week, well, actually for my husband and son.  I am going to try and have some Lean Cuisine on days I cook special food for them like chorizo burritos and cheese, potato, beef casserole.  I will just feel better being in control of my eating that way.

So, despite the fact that tomorrow morning the scale will not be happy to see me I am still very optomistic.

Have a great week my dear friends!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

55 down

Hey there, Hi there, Ho Ho Ho there.  lol

Yesterday was my weigh in day and I lost 3 pounds this last week.  Best loss in a long time.  Last monday was the first time I came away from a weekend with a loss instead of a gain.  I am not quite so hopeful this Monday cause I have already eaten more than usual today AND my mom is making sugar cookies!!!!!  I have had 2 and I am going to try my hardest to not have anymore but man oh man it is soooooo difficult.

I also have to say that I had a bad stuck incident.  A day or two after thanksgiving I was eating some tri tip and I ate too fast and ended up kneeled down over toilet.  It was not fun at all.  I had another incident but not as bad as this one.  I guess that means my band is about right huh.

I am starting to get comments on my appearance, usually at church when I am dressed up.  Here is a pic of me last sunday.



I did feel pretty good that day.

Oh my gosh.......... I have to tell you what just happened.  Here I am sitting in my room and my mom comes in holding a plate and looks at me and says "Sweety.....You have lost 55 pounds and I just want to tell you how proud I am of you."  and she proceeds to tilt the plate and show me a huge sugar cookie heart she baked for me.  OHH MY GOSH.  I smiled and said thank you.  Am I the only one who thinks this is totally twisted?  My husand comes out of the bathroom and looks at the cookie.  I told him what she said and he said "here, I will take it"  and I said no, i wouldnt want to hurt her feelings so he offered to eat half.  Here it is



I managed to consume 1/3 of it before my son saved me from myself.
Every day is a struggle to make the right decisions.  I will have to make up for the ones I made today.  I know that and I will have to live with that.  I can and will and I am not going to beat myself up for it.

Have a good one people!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.  Ours was nice.  We had it here at our house.  I tried a few recipes I had found and they were a hit.  I was very happy with my eating but it was strange that my stomach kind of hurt after I ate.  Hard to explain.  It wasn't like anything got stuck but I just felt an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.  It went away after about a half hour or so.

Today is a different story.  Today is Black Friday but I will have no part in that (except online) cause I really hate shopping with tons of people around and then to have the madness that ensues is ugly so, no thank you.  So, what have I dont today?  Well, not a lot.  I have watched movies, fb'd and even took a nap. Oh wait wait, I have also eaten.  I am not happy about my choices today or I should say my serving sizes.  I always regret it later, just wish I could control myself at the time.  I seriously need to learn control.

I gained a pound also, no big deal.  Probably another one today but I will get it under control.  I just need to get back to work.  Being home is a killer for me.  As much as I want to have a few days off, the idle time at home usually ends in overeating.  I know I know, keep busy but I dont really feel like doing anything.  I wish I felt like quilting but I really dont.

I have had some people compliment me on my weight loss so that is real nice.  Oh, and I fit into some size 20 jeans that i had put away when I moved on to 22's.  I kinda need to go through my clothes again but i dont feel like ive changed THAT much yet.  Maybe in another 10-20 pounds. 
Peace out

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Life happens!

I dont want to feel guilty for not posting but it's hard.  Same ol stupid story: wish i would post daily so I could record my struggles or accomplishments but nooooo life happens and time goes by.

Last Wednesday I had my appointment and got a fill.  It was an interesting appointment.  The doctor asked me if I would be willing to talk to a couple in the next room.  He felt that my experience would be helpful.  I told him that i have struggled and am trying to learn from my mistakes but if I wanted the easy way I shouldve gotten the bypass.  I told him that I am still able to eat alot of food and the only time I have an issue is when I eat too fast or something too dry (only happened a few times).  I was given another fill and told to do 2 days clear, 2 days creamy liquids and then soft for 2 days.  I have stuck to that (basically) lol

My fear is the coming holiday.  Food is in abundance and I am scared.  I pray this fill will help control my behavior.

The weather is getting colder too and this makes me want to bake.   Tonight I experimented and made some Nutter Butter Balls.  I was at the Dollor store and they had a bag of nutter butter crumbs so I got the idea.  I gave my son and his friend one and will send the few more that I made with my husband to work.  Ok, i had one :)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

scale whore, moods and dreaded holidays

I have failed so often since my surgery to keep my blog updated with my day to day life and the struggles with my diet.  Here it is Wednesday and I'm blogging.........seems like a miracle.  I usually only get on to weigh-in.

Sunday evening something very interesting happened.  My husband and I were at a book study at our church.  There were only a few people there so it was nice and intimate.  Somehow a friend (not real close) and I got to talking about our mothers.  We talked about how we as mothers love our children but they wont love us the same and so forth.  I shared how I have a really hard time showing my mother love.  I do love her, she is an amazing woman but its just weird.  I dont know if its cause we live together or what.  It was amazing cause this friend and I really understood eachother.  I guess you had to be there.

So this weekend was ok but my eating was not great.  Damn you McDonalds for bringing McRib back!

So here I go again, playing make-up with my diet....trying to undue what I did for the weekend.  Will I ever learn?  Umm, I thought I had.....umm no.  I was up 2.5 pounds on Monday.  I lost 1.5 yesterday so as of this morning I only had one pound to lose to be back to my low which was 233.........50 pounds down!  Ugh, how aweful to put myself through this. 

Today I had new determination.  I challenged myself to not snack on junk, and you know there is plenty of candy around right now.  In fact, my 1st client today was throwing away some candy and I decided to take it and give it to my son (he didnt go trick-or-treating) so I bagged it and put it in the back of my car.  I was so proud of myself when I was able to give him the candy and announce that I had not eaten any.  YaY!

My mom made this casserole but I did not have any, which she understood.  It consisted of ground beef, potatoes, lots of cheese and mushroom soup.  I opted for a salad with a chicken patty chopped up on top.  For lunch I had a lean cuisine and breakfast some steel cut oatmeal.  Oh and I did have some celery sticks with about a tbsp of reduced fat peanut butter.

I am also going to concentrate on upping my water intake.  I know this will help.

Another thing, back to my mom...... Every morning I have been weighing myself cause I really need to know when I am doing good and when I am not.  This is how I rationalize being a scale whore.  But I do have to say that it often determines my moods and THAT I do not like.  Why is it that when my mom says Good Morning to me I just grunt?  Is it cause I just need to be left alone while I try and wake up or am I taking my grumpiness, due to scale, out on her?  I mentioned that on Sunday night.  Why do I always seem like I am in a bad mood?  Why do I take it out on her?  I dont want to be that kind of person.

It isnt nice when a mirror has been put to your face and you realize you dont like what you see.  This happened recently with a banded friend and I know I ruined our relationship.  I overstepped my bounderies.  This time it is me who has shined a mirror on myself.  I dont often like what I see.  And please understand I am not talking about my outer looks.  I have to tackle one aspect at a time and improve it.  It isnt easy but I have too.  I want to be a better person, a better friend, better wife, mom and daughter.

Ok, on to one last issue.  I am terrified of the holidays.  Food scares me already.  I better start praying now.  I will talk more about this in another post.......this one is long enough. 

Saturday, October 29, 2011

50 Pounds and 100 blog posts

I lost that 1/2 pound to finally get me to 50 pounds down. Yay!  Now today I have to say has not been a good day as far as my eating is concerned.  I was off and decided I was not going anywhere all day.  Only thing I really did was unpack some winter clothes and washed them.  Besides that I spend the day chilling, playing on FB and watching tv........and ohhhhhh yes eating.  I dont feel real good, sluggish and bloated.  I didn't weigh this morning and I am not going to weigh in tomorrow.  I will weigh in on Monday and assess the damages.  I know I can get back on track. 

I also noticed I hit 100 blog post (last one)!  That seems pretty cool.  I would like to go back and read it but it seems like I have not time.  I'm sure I do I just dont manage my time very well when I am at home.

Every once in a while I see a thing on dashboard that mentiones getting your blog published.  Has anyone you know done that?  Just wondering.

I hate that I have resorted to once a week blogging.  I know there are issues I should try to deal with during my week but as I mentioned before.........time is not there.

Enjoy your weekend people!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Amazing week

Last week sucked because I had to work so hard at losing the few pounds I had gained over the weekend.  When I approached this week I was determined not to make the same mistake.  By Monday morning I was down a pound so I did great over the weekend.  This week has been an exhausting one.  I have one more house to clean today which will make 8 for the week.  Today's house is huge and it will take me 6-7 hours.  I am shooting for 6 but its usually 7.

What I am totally learning from having the Band is that it is still really hard work.  If you want an easy way to lose weight go for the bypass.  I still have to pick my food very carefully, eat slow (still a problem) and only serve myself a small portion (yes, I can eat alot).  I know the band is there and working cause i have had a few stuck moments that are very uncomfortable.  It happened when I ate something too fast or didnt chew well enough.

But I have to say that the thing that has helped me the most this week is not snacking in between meals.  So simple but so profound!  I am down 5.5 pounds this week.  Yes, it is true lol but i have to say that it has taken soooo much willpower.  Like last night I made chili size (hamburgers open faced with chili on top) but no I did not have that.  I just had a small bowl of chili.  For lunch i had a smart ones meal and breakfast was some steel cut oatmeal.  Oh and I did have a banana in between breakfast and lunch.

So as of today I am down 49.5 pounds! UUUHHHHMAZING.  I wish it was .5 more so I could shout 50 down 50 down! but i will wait lol

Have a fabulous weekend friends!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Excited and frusterated at same time

Why, you may be asking.  Well, last weekend I overate and gained 5 pounds, yes 5 frickin pounds.  So all this week I have been making up for it and as of this morning I have lost 4.5 of that.  Wow, yes, that is pretty good but imagine if I hadn't gained all that how much I would be down.  Lesson (I better frickin) learn. 




So, as I am coming up to a weekend we shall see how much I have actually learned :)

Just realized that this is my 100th blog entry!  Wow
Have a great day friends!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Bad Week

So I made it to the gym once this week.......not good.  Boy it really helped when my son was going to practice.  He started wrestling this week, well, one practice so that is when I went.  Last night he could have gone but he had lots of homework.  I also got a call from the councelor's office.  His Spanish teacher wants a conference.  Yes I am not thrilled.  My son's grades are not very good right now.  He has a terrible time being organized and lost his binder for Spanish and really hates that class so I know he kinda gave up.  Well, I talked and talked and talked with him.  Sometimes I feel like I am turning blue from trying to figure out how to motivate him.  I told him he has 2 weeks to improve his grades or wrestling is out.  I hope that works.

So besides no regular gym visits and a bit too much snacking I am up 1.5 pounds.  My mom's mom (oma) passed away on tuesday too.  I know my mom is not looking forward to weighing in.  I feel bad for her.  I know that when I am home all day all I want to do is snack and she is home all the time.  She has been making beanies and scarfs though.  I hope she doesnt get tired of making them.  I like to buy her yarn.  I like that she is getting into something.

I wish I had more time but I got to get my son up.  I will have to drive him to school again cause he missed the bus.  I let him sleep.  He has been staying up too late this week.  Next week will be different.

Have a great weekend friends!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

weigh-in

I lost 1.5 pounds this week bringing my total to 46.  Hitting 50 down will be pretty awesome, cant wait for that.

I still struggle with the emotional part of losing weight.  I think I want to eat when I know my body doesn't really want it.  I have to force myself to NOT eat something when I wanna.  I pray this will get easier.  I dont want to feel this compulsion.  I dont want to feel like I have no power.  My mom and husband say Im doing a great job but I have to tell them how I struggle and how it isnt easy.  I wonder if they wonder about how much this surgery has actually helped me.  I guess I am still figuring that out.  I have never been real in-tune with my body so it can be hard to tell.  It would probably be a great idea if I started writing down how I feel after a meal and then how I feel a few hours later and so on.

This weekend has already had its share of challenges.  My Oma (my mom's mom) had a stroke and they cant perform surgery so she only had a day or two.  This afternoon my mom was on the phone trying to talk with her and I am in the office and I can hear her telling her mom in German how much she loves her and crying.  It was heart wrenching.  So anyways, trying not to run to food for comfort.

My son also quit football and that totally sucks.  I was really enjoying watching him practice and going to the games (even tho they were bad) and also, it forced me to hit the gym between dropping him off and end of practice since we live a few miles outside of town.  It was real incentive for me and well, I havent been to gym since wednesday.

I will find my rhythym and be set.  But also my husband will be back on mornings so I guess we will see how it goes.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend friends and make wise choices. :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

2 Months Post Op


Wow, Ok guess I shouldve straightened up before the pic huh?  J/k.  I was actually sorting some laundry to do.  lol   I dont particularly like the side of me that makes excuses for something good instead of just embracing it but in this picture I am wearing workout clothes (that I dont work out in, rather I sleep in on occasion) and these shorts are slimming so there is a bulge her and there.  Ugh!  Ok, well its not like I was wearing spanx but you understand.  I have appeared to have lost more inches than actual pounds and that is fine with me.  I know that is more important and actually us as women lose more inches due to all the fat. ugh   So below is the picture the night before surgery and todays pic.  It might be hard to tell due to location but if you see a difference please tell me.  I would love to hear that. (dont we all)


The shorts in the first pic are not the same, rather my husbands lounge shorts with pockets.
Im thinking I should wear the black workout shorts under all my clothes in lieu of spanx, they are much more comfortable.  lol

I think I might go make some more pics with the same clothes and same place and then we will see the difference.  I have some pics from when I first started losing and that would be even more noticable.  I still have so much to lose but I know I am on the way.

Yesterday a client made my day when he said I looked great.  He hadnt seen me in 2 months and said he really notices the difference.  That was so great to hear and really helped me the rest of the day to watch my self.  Everyday is a struggle especially when I am home.  All I want to do is eat.  Ugh, hate that.  :(


Saturday, September 24, 2011

Weigh-in

Yesterday was my weigh-in day.  I lost 1.5 pounds!  I kinda feel like I cheated though cause I got on the scale several times.  The first time I was only down .5 and then I waited a few minutes, tinkled a little more and then I was down 1.5, I have no idea why the big change.  Maybe my tile floor.....I dont know.  So I took the 1.5 and saved that!  Oh and I actually did it again to be sure and yes, it was the same.

I only made it to the gym 2 days this week cause I pulled a muscle on my job tuesday.  The back of my leg up to my butt on the right was killing me.  I actually woke up in agony tue night.  Luckily I had a heating pad and that was the only thing that helped.  I had my mom put some ben-gay on my leg but she rubbed it in to much I guess cause it burned soooo bad.  But now I am back to normal and will be ready to hit the gym again on Monday.

My mom will not be making the cinnamon rolls this weekend.  For one, she is not feeling real well and two I am the one that does the shopping and I didnt buy any yeast.  Yes, she was going to make them from scratch.  I am relieved.  I have mentioned in the past and realize once more that I cant have those things around (in abundance) or I will be in trouble.  Remember the cake she made last weekend.......well, I even found myself getting a spoon and getting some batter from the bowl AFTER the cake was made and I had a piece or two.  Yes, I have issues and I know I need to work on them.

I have also learned that MY issues with food are not necessarily others peoples issues with food.  There is a lot of food policing going on in my house especially with my mom (my husband is real bad) and I have in turn done the same to a dear friend and inadvertedly made her feel bad.  I am grateful she told me otherwise I would continue my bad behavior and comments and perhaps ruining our relationship.  It isnt always nice when someone holds a mirror to your face but it will make you a better person.  I feel horrible for causing her any pain and I apologized.  I love you dear friend and am very proud of you.

Have a great weekend friends!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Houston, we have a problem!

Weekend started off really well.  I cleaned up my closet (its a walk-in) on Friday night, yeah, im wild like that.  Saturday morning I managed to cut grass in yard in a part that was outgrowing the rest due to laundry water run-off.  I kind of gave up after that cause I really didn't want to do much on my day off.  I did have to make a run to Costco for a few items THEN I was done.  I took a nap and in the evening planned on watching a movie with family.  Unfortunately my son's friend hadn't left yet and so it was just me, husband and my mom watching it. 

So are you wondering where the frustration came from.  During the movie my mom went to kitchen and I seen her mixing something (kitchen and livingroom are open design) and so I asked her what she was doing.  We already had plenty for dinner!  My husband got up and said "She is making a cake".  "But, no frosting" she says (yeah just sprinkled heavily with powdered sugar)  Hmm... so IM THINKING UGGHHH but oh yeah, cake! Within the next 15 hours I proceeded to eat between 3-4 pieces.  But before the night was over she even apologized for making the cake.  She knows I have a problem.  So we move on to Sunday morning.  We are all in the car and going to church.  My mom says that every weekend she is going to bake something and next weekend it will be cinnamon rolls.  Oh boy.  First thing I think of is wow, something new to blog about.  But on the bright side I have one week to prepare myself.

What would you do to prepare for this challenge?

I have learned that I cant have thing around the house that I love.  If I buy chips it is a kind I dont care for and if I buy cookies (hardly ever) then I certainly dont buy the soft chewy chocolate chip kind.   I dont feel deprived if it isnt around.  But when something is around I am powerless.

Hopefully she will change her mind and not make them.  Ok, I better get going.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Good and Bad of Week and Weigh-In



It has been an amazing week, very tiring but not bad.  What I have managed to do all week is hit the gym while my son is at practice.  This has made me feel very good and proud of myself.  I also think it was made easier by the fact that my husband is working nights so he isnt home to tend to.  The only downside is that I have not cooked dinner all week which means my mom does.  My doctor pointed something out to me and I guess I should be ashamed.  I told my doctor that my mom was cooking and one particular night she made chicken and dumplings and I probably didnt sound too thrilled about it.  She said to me "Be thankful that you have someone to cook for you and make chicken and dumplings, you can just have less"  Ok, so yes, this was kinda like a slap in the face.  I guess when I look at food and I see something that I know to be bad for me (not necessarily the C&D) but I think more of quantity than quality.  For instance, I will be able to make dinner tonight and the first think I think of is what can I make that is healthy that I can have a lot of!  Wow, how terrible is that.  No wonder I almost hit 300!

I have got so much to learn about control.  I really hate being out of control.  

So the good:
1.  Made it to gym every day this week (and plan on going again today)
2.  I have LOST 2 pounds
3.  I get quiet alone time while husband works nights (dont tell him I said that)

The bad:
1.  Have not been home to cook wonderfully healthy dishes for family
2.  Have to decide if I want to eat my moms food (Man, I sound terrible huh)

So the Good outweighs the bad, that is all that matters.  I am so glad it is Friday.  As you can see my weigh-in was good.  Crazy thing about that is I was 242 every day this week EVEN YESTERDAY and seems the 11th hour strikes again, I dont know how I even gave into a little bowl of macaroni and cheese late last night!  crazy but I will take it.  My mom on the other hand has gained 3 pounds.  I told her to figure out her mistake and learn from it.  She said "no more shakes"  No, she wasnt having real shakes but more like a smoothy.  She has been addicted to these smoothys lately and when she makes one it is huge so she said no more.  I tried to tell her to just make a small glass to get the taste but she said no, no more.  Hmm, guess I know where I get that attitude from.

Ok, I better head to work now, got one job today but it is a messy one.  I like this job though cause I can see how pretty I can make it.  Have a fabulous weekend!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Bad Bad Tanya.....or was it?



I am guilty of eating birthday cake ALL weekend! A bite hear and a bite there.  Ok, at my son's birthday I was supposed to be on creamy liquids so I blended up some of my chili and that was ok.  A little later when everyone was happily eating cake i decided to ......Yep, blend it.  I made a cake shake.  I actually only hade a couple sips and decided it wasnt worth it.  I wasnt enjoying it.  So later that night I had a sliver and then the rest of the weekend a bite hear a couple bites there.......you get the idea.  Even at church sunday night when I was on soft foods I had some upside down cake.  Yes, this weekend was one of those.  But happily I didn't eat too much more I GUESS cause my weight was same as on Friday morning (weigh-in)  Hallelujah!

Today I am officially onto regular foods.  I actually put a crock pot of beans on last night so this morning I made my son and I a couple eggs and a spoon of beans......yum......BUT I didnt feel too great after.  I ate too fast.  Trying to get my son out the door to make it to the bus in the morning is sometimes very rushed and I did eat too fast.  I have to drive him down the road to the bus stop.

I really must go now and prepare something for when I am at work today.  I have one house to clean and it usually takes me 6 hours.  Have a terrific Tuesday friends!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Needles, Birthday and broth

Made a quick drive up to San Diego to see the doctor (actually seen the assistant) and gave them a progress report.  Oh, and I hate their scale!  Nothing was mentioned about my weight loss, she just plugged in my measurement #'s and showed me on computer where I was at.  I have lost a few inches.  She then asked about how I was eating and what I could eat.  I told her I could eat anything and I always stop before I actually want to UGH.  She then asked me if I wanted 1cc, 1 1/2 cc or 2 cc.......ummm 2, she said ok, then I said "wait, let me ask you........is that being too aggressive?" and she said no, that I knew my body and let me have it *poke*.  She then told me that I have to do 2 days of clear, 2 days of creamy and 2 days of soft food.  Did I mention that I was throwing a birthday party for my son tomorrow? umm NO, I did not, she might have hesitated.  She had me down a shot of water and told me that I might burp, so here I was feeling like I needed to burp on command and I couldnt.  She said that was good and if the fill was too much then she would know by now..........water out nose or something like that  lol.

So I drove my starving self all the way back home.  I hit the GNC for some strawberry protein cause it was last day of sale and then I had to go to Walmart for some sewing needles and mop for client and then to Costco for a few other things.  I also had to go to Parent night at my school.  Talk about a day Im glad was over.  I ended up having like 3 cans of broth, pretty tasty with a little spices.

Today is my son's birthday and he is playing a game in San Diego.  I wont be able to make it *sucks* but I have another dr appt and two jobs to do today.  I hope the broth I take with me will keep me going.  Hmm, my rockstar lemonade is clear lol.  Last night I joked with my husband "wine is clear" but I dont think he thought that was funny.  Sometimes I think my husband thinks im weird.  lol

Oh and my husband is trying real hard this week to have a good weigh in tomorrow but he also is giving in to the chili and nachos im making for the party.  He loves it........oh yeah I would too  ughh  no no, dont feel bad for me, im glad i got fill and on restricted diet.......makes me feel in control.  Ok, gotta run for now, have a great weekend all.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Happy Tuesday!

I am feeling pretty awesome today despite the fact that I am up like 5 pounds! Yes, I am but i know exactly why.  Last night I had a spicy shrimp cup soup which has tons of sodium.  I didnt drink ALL of the broth but 2/3.  I have to be very good today.  I already took a water pill.  I have my appt tomorrow.  I pray I will get a fill.  I do feel like I get hungry sooner that I should.

So, yes I am feeling pretty good today.  I have a house to clean and some shopping for another client today.  I think it will be a good day.  It is also nice that school is back in session so my houses are usually empty now and easier to clean.

My son is turning 15 this thursday.  Seems crazy but true.  We are having a little party on Friday full of the cheap staples hot dogs, chili beans, nachos and cake.  I am kinda hoping that if I do get a fill I will be put on liquids for a few days and so I wont be as tempted.  Guess I will know tomorrow.

Well, I better go for now.  Have a great week!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Weigh-In Day

Today was our weigh-in day.  I got my mom and husband involved (we could all use some weight loss) and my mom thankfully stayed the same.  She was put on prednisone which makes her very hungry.  She actually cried because she was so frusterated cause she knew she was eating too much.  So when she got on scale and it was same as last week she was relieved.  My dear husband lost 3 pounds *insert silent scream* and I am happy for him.  Men!  And I am happy to report that I have lost 2!  It wasn't easy though.  I wanted to eat more than I had but I really tried.  I did not snack at night and it paid off.  I did go for a nice walk last night too.  I intended on going tonight but ended up re-arranging my bedroom instead.  Does wrestling with dust bunnies count as excercise?

Right now I am waiting for my son to call me.  His Freshman Football team is out of town, they played and WON and I am just waiting for him to call so I can go pick him up.  Meanwhile, I'm thinking about food and what I can have.........I hate that.  This is the time of day that can break me.  I am trying to be strong.  I had two houses to clean today so my mom made dinner ..........hot dogs and potatoe salad, just what a dieter needs right.  Well, I had some potato salad and not much (about 5pm) and just about an hour ago (9pm) I made a triple berry protein shake, that was good but the potato salad was calling out to me.  I pretended not to hear.

Im gonna go for now, have a great Labor day weekend all :)

Friday, August 26, 2011

I must confess.....

I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.  Ok, just kidding, Ace Ventura, always funny.  Anyways, what I must confess is that last week I was not truthful with you and myself.  I was so desperate to say that I had hit 40 pounds off that I ignored the half pound that actually was still hanging on and in the way of reaching that goal.  So, Im sorry.

This week came and went so quickly again.  Football practice, registering son for High School, son to dr for sprained ankle, mother to ER due to low Blood pressure and.... oh, yes, also the 5 houses I cleaned.  I still feel guilty for not getting on and recording my good and bad.  I did actually track ONE day......I know, I know, p a t h e t i c  right.  I was also frusterated that I went up a couple pounds (still hovering around 245 most of the time).  I did manage to go walking last night and tonight.  Last night I felt like crap, like I was super full and uncomfortable.  I forced myself to go for a walk for about 40 minutes.  Tonight I managed a whole hour which I am really proud of.  It kind of helps that I live in the country and well, if I decide to walk for an hour I head off down the ditchbank for 30 minutes and then I turn around.......i then have to keep going if i want to make it home so its nice.  Here is a pic of my way back home.  My house is passed the trees in the distance.  Kinda cool.





 Tonight I left my house at 6:30pm and the temp was 112.  It didnt bother me though.  For some reason I like it.  Wait, let me clarify that.  I like it when I am walking but not when I am running around town in the car.

Today was one of those awesome days where you feel like you did everything right (for my body) and I am really happy about that.  Now, I just have to stay out of kitchen for remainder of night.  That is a little tough but I took some Nyquil and Im hoping that will force sleepytime before I get bored and head to the fridge.  yes, I have been fighting the cold for about 2 weeks now.  I guess its not a cold anymore but I have residual phlem that bugs me.  I hope it has nothing to do with me not using the spirometer enough after surgery.  Oh, I noticed that today is ONE MONTH IN BANDLAND.  Im still waiting for the magical fairies to appear but no such luck.

Oh and since this is friday I guess I should tell you my weigh in.  EXACTLY SAME AS LAST WEEK 243.5 Yes, I am being honest this time.  That half pound is there.  I was actually glad to see the scale this morning though cause like I mentioned I was up to 245 a few days ago and frusterated.

I am still a scale whore.  I am refusing therapy for this at the moment but perhaps in the future.

I want to see what it says tomorrow.  Imagine if it could actually talk to me.  It would probably say "UGH......you again" or perhaps "would you at least put some clothes on before you step on me"......lol

I talked my husband into starting a weight charting things-ma-bob with me.  This time we are not actually competing for sexual favors but just keeping track openly.  I didnt tell my husband and family what my weight was until we left the hospital.  Remember, I had already lost 30+ pounds before surgery.  I was that ashamed.  I weighed 283 at my highest!  I could never tell my husband that.
So now, the cat is out of the bag and I can be honest.  I am going to make a cute little chart and record our weight weekly.  I even got my mom to get in on the action.

Have a great weekend friends!



Saturday, August 20, 2011

Hell Week!

LOL, not for me (title) but for my son.  He is gonna be a freshman and in football.  I have been going to his practice and of course working so I havent been online much.  I feel so guilty about this.  I want to keep a better record of how I am doing post op.  Today is 25 days post op.  How much have I lost?  Well, I hate this question cause if I go by their scale at hospital then and mine now, it seems different.  Ok, IF we go by hospital scale then and mine now I have lost 12 pounds since surgery. Ok, yes, I will just deal with that.

I have hit a little milestone yesterday.  I have lost 40 total so far.  That is pretty cool to think about.  I will have to post some before and after pics when I hit 50 down.

This last week I seemed to hover around 245 and it was a little frusterating but just before weigh-in I lost and hit the 40 down.  I am not eating alot (I dont think) so i feel like I should lose a little bit more but as I mentioned to Ronnie, I really need to track my food intake and see what I might/might not be doing right.  I kinda hate tracking but she mentioned that it was easy now that she is used to it.  I know it takes a few weeks of doing something for it to become a habit so I should give it some time and then decide to do or not to do...........yes, that is the question.....lol

This week was also a little bit difficult because I was trying to get over a cold and having to clean houses was not fun.  But I made it. 

Ok, I am really going to try and post more.  I need a place to vent my frusterations and also my achievements.  I dont think family is always as excited about hearing how my day went ya know.  Ok, friends, have a fab weekend and i will talk to ya all later.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Fears and all that junk

I went back to working as usual this last monday.  I cleaned 7 houses this week.  I'm beat, but mostly because I have come down with a cold.  I woke up this morning with a sore throat and sniffles and I had to tackle a 5 bedroom 4 bath house today too.  Boy was I glad when I got that done.  I ran some errands and got some Nyquil.  I will probably fall face first in about 30 minutes.  Anyways,

I have to admit that I am a bit afraid of food.  I guess I am not feeling like I have control yet.  Dont get me wrong, I have not overdone any eating (since being banded) but I still feel like that could happen.  I dont think I am eating very much now and am doing fine.  No drastic weight loss yet but maybe its cause im not eating enough.  I am lazy though about writing my food intake down..........in fact i havent at all.  I guess I should really do that.

I have to say also that I do not have any problem eating anything ive tried, I can even gulp!  Yes, I gulp! My drink that it.  I think also that there was only one time when I was eating some corn tortillas toasted a bit with butter spray that I felt like I was topping off and couldnt eat any more. 

I am still really just getting used to eating less.  I stop eating way before I want to and it is really hard but I know I need to get used to eating less.  I usually have my protein shake for breakfast which gives me most of if not all my protein that i need for the day so I am not worried about that.

I started walking a couple of nights ago.  Of course I didnt go tonight cause im not feeling good but I am really happy to be back to getting some excercise in.

I'm staring to feel like im kinda scatter brained so I better go.  I hope I made sense.

Weigh-in

I failed to post about my pound last week.  I lost another one.  I seem to be hovering around 245.......up and down.  I know I havent been on for a week, im sorry.  I actually am on my way out the door but I will have to commit to posting some more tonight.  It's been a busy week (back to regular work schedule) and so Ive been tired blah blah blah.  My ticker is updated.  One and a half more pounds and I will have reached 40.  Most of that pre-op.  Ok, I gotta run, thanks

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Post op appt, deli meat and missing my tub

Yesterday was my post op appt with the surgeon.  I wasted no time in standing up pulling up my shirt, pulling off my binder and pointing to my area of concern and asking questions.  He assured me that I was healing nicely and the burning I was feeling was normal.  He explained how my fat tissue was sewn to my muscle and how my skin was indenting and puffing up was normal.  He went on to say how the next stage was like the "teenage stage" and so forth and so I asked him if he was giving me authorization to move on to the next stage (soft food).  It was funny, he didnt answer me just went on to say some more stuff and so I asked him again playfully "sooo, you're giving me authorizaton to move on the next stage?"  He finally did with a smile and I even made sure when his assistant came in to take over that he repeated to her that I was authorized.  It was funny.

After we left we stopped at a 7 Eleven so my husband could get a soda and I thought I would go see if there was anything I might be able to eat.  I have been waiting for this right?  I settled on a pkg of budding deli meat and a stick of pepper jack cheese.  I had a few bites and enjoyed it immensly with no troubles.  That night I made tilapia fish and rice (for family).  I served myself 1/2 piece of fish and some chili beans.  I ate my small serving with no trouble and felt fine.

I had a 4 hour job to do today.  It was a bit difficult at times, like when I had to repeatedly bend over to empty the dryer.  I actually had to sit a few times for a few minutes.  I even broke down and took some vicodin.  I was going to try and not take it during the day but I think on days like this I needed it.  I am not working tomorrow but I do have one more 4 hour job on Saturday.  But that is it for time off for me.  I am back to regular working schedule next week.  I wish I did have more time off but I said I was going to be tough and actually cant afford to take off more time.

My back is hurting again and this brings me to the sad realization that I cant use my jacuzzi tub yet ~sniff sniff~  Oh how I miss my tub.  I actually take more baths than showers.  My bathroom is the biggest perk in the whole house......the jacuzzi tub, tv and mini fridge.  Yeah......I love it.  If I had a recliner in there I might never come out.  Actually most of my pictures I take are in there lol.

Tomorrow is Friday.....Have a great weekend friends and stay cool

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Toughen up tuesday

Made it through the job, it really did help that the vacuuming, sweeping and mopping were done by my niece.  I felt kinda weak and had to sit down a couple times but I made it through.  I had to go to Costco afterward and pick up my remaining vicodin that the pharmacy owed me and I dont know what happened but when i go there and grabbed a cart I did something.  I think it is to the port area.  It kinda hurt and later even felt like a little burn inside.  I have an ice pack on under my binding.  I will be seeing the doc in the morning so hopefully he will say its ok.

I did want to respond to the last post's comments.  Shannon, yeah I have lots of pudding in different flavors but I can only handle sweet tasting things so long.......but I have not tried putting protein powder in them so I will try that.  Amanda, hopefully tomorrow he will clear me, if not I will tough it out.  But I have to say I did something this evening that I'm not sure is cheating or not.... You all be the judge: I blended up some chili with some vegetable broth and had that......yum, yum.......I make good chili beans.  It went down fine and I havent had any problems yet.

Thanks again for leaving comments.  I'm gonna go, my back is starting to hurt.  I just got done sewing up 3 of my husbands jumpsuits (for work), one shirt and a dress strap of mine.  Busy day :)

Monday, August 1, 2011

Happy Monday......Yep!

Yesterday was a bit of a struggle for me.  It was the first day I craved food.  I know it was more out of boredom and being surrounded by people eating all day.  So, what did I do?  Well, I think I had 3 different soups, two different protein drinks and yet nothing really seemed to hit the spot.  I went on LapBandtalk.com's forums and looked around for some liquid diet suggestions and found a couple but also found some bad advice too.  At the end of the night I ate one saltine and two ritz.  I ate them very very slowly and made them disintegrate in my mouth (practically). Yes, I felt better and then I just went to bed.  One good thing about last night was that I finally had my first BM since surgery.

I am a little nervous about my week.  I have 3 jobs to do. 2 will be no big deal but the 3rd one (which is actually tomorrow) is the big one.  I asked my husbands niece to help me but she will be only able to help for like 2 hours.  Thats ok, I will have her do all the vacuuming and mopping and I will do the rest.  I cannot tell my mom that she isnt doing the whole job for me though, my mom will not like that.  I really shouldve told client that I am going to skip but I cant.  80 bucks is 80 bucks.

So this morning I got on the scale and WOW, I am down.  I am officially closer to 200 than 300 now!  woo hoo!  I didnt weigh in last friday cause i was really still swollen and had not made any progress.....and wasnt expecting much then either.  I still want to keep fridays as my weigh-in day but I just had to push save on my scale and announce it to you all. :)  So technically, from my last weigh-in I am down 4.5 pounds!  When I went into surgery I weighed 255 on their scale.  so from their view I have lost 7.5  I am going to keep my records though, I dont want to get all confused.  So as you can see from my ticker, I have lost 35.5 pounds so far!  That is pretty cool.

I've got 4 more day of liquids then I go to soft food.  I need to keep it up and not give into the little bits of cracker that I know didnt bother me.  Hey, I cant see inside my stomach, maybe it irritated it or something....Yeah, yeah thats it, the crackers DID harm my healing so I had better stay away.  lol   ok, in case i lost you I am trying to psych myself into NOT eating solids yet.

I'm gonna go now, gotta take my boy to town and finish my protein and coffee.  Have a fab week everyone.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Sip, Sip, Sip

Thanks Amanda, yes I am trying to sip sip sip.  It was easiest last night while we sat and watched a movie.  I sipped a whole bottle of water.  I dont sit around a whole lot, I am one of those antsy kind of people that gotta be doing something.  I have already arranged all of my cabinets in the kitchen, well, all except two, I've cleared shelf in laundry room and put extra food in there (it is supposed to be turned into my pantry soon ~ugh~), I hung up a hat rack in my bathroom for my work hats, stared at my quilting material a few times, had to wash my binder (for stomach) already cause I got sweaty when I watered the grass we are trying to grow in the back yard and so forth.

Here it is 9am and I have already made some Jam Dandy Date bars, picked up trash from back yard and stared at quilting material.  About the date bars.... well, I have discovered that it is easier to bake when I know I CANNOT WHATSO EVER eat what i am making.  Last night I made carrot cake.  I dont bake alot but I had the cake mix in the cabinet and I figured I better get rid of it.  Yes, the responsible thing would have been to throw it out but I didnt want to 1. waste the money and 2. deprive my family of the goodie.  I'm gonna save the bars for church tomorrow night.  Oh and giving half of the carrot cake to my father-in-law who has a shop next to our house.  He is a great man and basically the man that hooked me and his son up.  :)

I am feeling really good except when I wait to long for the pain medication or like two nights ago when I woke up on my stomach....ouch!

Yesterday was my first day with creamy liquids.  I had some coffee.  I have some of these Starbucks Via's.
Oh boy, was I ready to enjoy some good coffee.  I had two yesterday.  I also made myself a protein drink that is chock full of protein.  It isnt the best tasting but not the worst either.  I got it from GNC and it is fruit punch flavor.  I shouldve got the strawberry like I went in for but changed my mind.  Anyhoo, I later had a soup in hand cream of broccoli and in the evening I had a cream of mushroom.  In between I had more flavored water and a popcicle.  I was never truly hungry and still aint...... Like my english there? 

I will now post a pic I tried to post a few days ago but couldn't.  Here are my incisions.  I only had 4 instead of 5.  Doc told my husband its because he didnt need to use a liver retractor on me just some new bungee thingy (yeah, thats the technical term.....lol, j/k)
I'm gonna go for now.  I gotta go take my vitamins and make a protein drink.  Thanks again for following me and for the congrats.  I'M IN BANDLAND BABY!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Feeling pretty good

Last day of clear liquids.  It hasnt been real hard, i mean i am not hungry but i did find myself at fridge once staring into it and at once closed it.  I was just bored.  I have not cheated or strayed from the clear liquids.  I am kind of tired of fruity drinks tho.  The crystal lite I had was too fruity.  I have different ones so I just have to keep changing it up.  I have felt good today.  I actually did some laundry and stocked a couple of shelves with water (cases of water on floor by cabinet).  I also cleaned off a desk in my room.  I did take a short nap but woke up energized.  I am not in much pain.  It hurts more when I go to lay down.  I guess it is the stretching of incisions.
Only thing was that this morning when I peed it was a bit dark which means I'm not drinking enough so I am working on that today.  It isnt easy.  I sometimes worry about drinking too much at once or too often.  Until I get used to it I imagine it will be a challenge.  When I do drink I feel bloated and swollen.  I hope that is normal.  I know I will be swollen for a while though.

Well, I am gonna go for now.  I threw a lasagna in the oven for my family (Costco).  My husband took my mom to go get some of her medicine.  He is such a good guy.  I will make some more broth with my crushed red peppers and enjoy.  Tomorrow I get cream liquids.  Oh, dear coffee how I long for thee.  Yum, cant wait

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Day after surgery!

Hi everyone! Thanks for the comments.  I am feeling pretty good right now, minimal pain cause im sitting down and have my binding wrap on and of course the lovely liquid vicodin.  The following will be all about surgery day and what happened.

5:30 am we arrived at hospital and did our check-in, got my bracelet and got into gown.  They took my urine cause they said my white blood count was slightly elevated.  They check for bladder infection but it was clear.  Not enough for them to worry about though apparently.  I got my iv in and we sat for a bit.  My husband and son were both with me.  At 7:00 I was put in another room, like a pre-op area where I met a couple of nurses.  My doctor came by and said hi and checked if I had any questions and also my anestegiologist came by and introduced himself and asked a few questions.  He was cool, I liked him.
At around 7:30 I had to say goodbye to my boys and they wheeled me to operating room.  I was soon out like a light and in recovery room.  I later learned that the doctor informed my husband that the surgery went very well.  After a little while I was taken back to first room I was in and told that when I peed, drank a cup of water and felt ok then I could go.  At this point my worst pain was in my right shoulder.  I didnt feel my stomach yet.
I have to say that I really wanted to sleep more but I hated having my husband and son just sitting there waiting on me so I kinda pushed myself.  I got a bit nauseated and thought I was going to hurl but turned out I just needed to burp.  I peed, got clothes on and then sat for a minute.  I really shouldn't have pushed myself so hard but I knew the hotel was waiting for me.  So, believe it or not by 11:30 I was out of hospital.  I told my husband to stop at Target cause we needed some water and my son needed a toothbrush and oh yeah a can opener for my broth I brought with me.  Yes, I walked through Target.

After I got comfortable and was ready to sleep the boys took off.  They had their sights on Fry's (electronic store).  I remember napping really nice.  Not feeling any pain.  The pain in my shoulder was sharp but it wasnt constant.  I was taking my liquid vicodin every 3-4 hours as directed.  In the late afternoon my son wanted to go swimming so we went.  I just thought sitting in the sun would be nice.  It was for a little bit.  I facebooked a pic of my husband and son in the pool and then I headed back to room.

Oh, earlier in the day I decided to have some jello.  For a second I did forget about the band and I ate too fast.  I felt like I was going to throw up but mustered everything I had not to and just tried to breathe through it.  It was very uncomfortable but did pass in a minute.  I can imagine what real food would do......YIKES!  Good lesson though.

So I didnt sleep real well.  I was up every few hours to pee and at one point waited too long for medicine and hurt.
This morning when I got up I could really tell how I was swollen at the top of my stomach.  It is rather uncomfortable when I stand, it feels like it swells more.  I wear the binding which helps tons though.

We gathered up our stuff and went and got my mom.  We got home around 1 and I told my husband to go to walmart cause my mom needed fruit and I wanted some popsicles and french onion soup (thought it would be good).  Been taking my pain meds as directed and right now feeling ok, course Im sitting on my butt.

One thing I have to say is how much I love my husband and son.  They made a point to not bring any food into the motel from their trips to the fast food places.......they didnt want me to have to smell it.  How sweet huh. 

Ok, here is a couple pics my husband took of me night before surgery

Not great pics but wow, look at the cottage cheese......Yuck!

I will post more when I remember what I forgot lol

Monday, July 25, 2011

Here we go!


It is now 5pm and I am not to eat anything else tonight.  It is the night before my Lap Band Surgery!  I am super excited which is strange cause I know I will be very uncomfortable and all but I am happy to be at this point.
I am waiting anxiously for my husband to get home so I can rush him into the shower so we can hit the road to San Diego.  Much better idea to stay the night then to have to wake up and be on the road at 3am.  I am still scheduled to be the first surgery of the day.  I asked the nurse if Dr. Callery drank coffee.  Half joking of course but I hope he is a morning person  ~insert nervous giggle~ I will be at hospital at 5:30 am. 

We are staying an extra night at room like Im sure I mentioned before cause we are going to pick up my  mom and then come home.  I will admit it here that I have mixed emotions about my mom coming home.  I dont want to sound like a bad daughter but if you've lived with another adult woman its not easy.  I just need to set boundaries.  For instance, when my mom was well and she did some cleaning and such around the house she would clean my shower and/or wash my clothes.  I would always ask her why and she would argue with me `stubborn German~ but seriously I need to tell her that MY space is My space and she needs to NOT touch it.  There is plenty to do besides that.  Anyways, you know what I mean.  I really dont know what all she will be capable of doing anyway so we shall see.
I will try and post when I get back.
Oh and I would love some suggestions on clear liquids or creamy liquids.  I have a few but let me know what you all had.  I will ask about soft foods when I get to that.  I really have been away from forums so I forgot what was said.
Ok, I better go check my bags again and be off.  Yay!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday Weigh-in


First off let me say that that is NOT me (either one)  lol.  Good illustration though, perhaps I should print it out and put it on my fridge.  Hmmm. 

Well, I hopped on the scale this morning (not really......it would probably fly into pieces) and I am down 2 pounds!  Yay!  Not too shabby since I had a birthday meal and on wednesday after my pre-op I had a teriaki burger from Carls (my fav).  I guess I have really learned how to make up for my bad eating.  If I choose to eat something that would normally be my days worth of calories then the next day or two I go back to eating less.

Last night I caught myself saying to myself (dont laugh) that "I am now eating to live not living to eat"  That feels pretty good.  I hate that food has so much power.  Well NOT ANYMORE!  I need to take my health back.

I better run.  I have a house to clean today and tomorrow and on Monday then SURGERY DAY!  Is it normal to be excited about surgery?  Hmph.

Take care my feathered friends!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

New Product

I just wanted to share a product I recently found at Costco.  I thought I would try it and I was impressed.  The flavor is incredible.


Keep in mind that it is Vegan.  It only has 3 gr of protein but I thought it was great.

I got to get some paperwork done for my two appt tomorrow so I better go. 

Monday, July 18, 2011

Good Weekend!

I enjoyed the beach on Saturday.  I stayed under my umbrella as much as possible but during lunch we couldn't get a shaded table so it was then that I got a little too much sun.  Not enough to make me suffer but enough.  Here are a few pics.



Then on sunday after church we went to Famous Daves cause it was my birthday and that is what I wanted ~stomp stomp stomp~  Of course it was yum



Im not really liking this pic but I had to settle for it cause my husband and son were tired of me trying to get a good one...lol....you know what I mean huh

I am super excited about my surgery in 8 days.  I have my pre-op this wednesday so we will see if he has me do any special diet.  I feel kind of guilty cause when I started this journey I was on the lap band forum website all the time and I was all informed and stuff but I kind of feel out of it.  I kinda feel like I need to go back and find out what I will need and what to be prepared for.  I mean the doctors office has a clear diet set out for me after the operation but.....I dont know, I just feel like I lost a lot of information by being away.  I started blogging and never went back.

I will be back to let you know how the pre-op went.  I better get to bed

Friday, July 15, 2011

Weigh-in Friday

Today is my weigh-in day.  I had to be pretty tough on myself this week cause I was up 4 pounds.  Well, this morning I got on the scale ~naked~ and I lost those 4 plus 1/2 more.  So that was good.

Tomorrow I am heading to the beach with my son and two of his friends.  They are all here right now and we are leaving at 8 in the morning.  It will take 2 hours to get there.  I live in a desert (irrigated, mind you) but a desert valley no less and so we have to travel over the mountain to get to San diego.  It is a nice drive.

This week has been very tiring.  I have worked all week and on top of that I have been helping out someone move.  If you have read my blog in the recent past you will recall one of my clients (that I clean for) who also goes to my church.....you know, the one that had the bypass.  Yeah, well, she and her husband split up.  In fact we loaded her up on thursday and she moved to Colorado.  It's kind of sad cause her husband is a sweet man.  He adored his wife.  I mentioned how I wasnt sure if her surgery had something to do with her wanting to leave. Hmm did I tell you about this already?  I cant remember.  Sorry if I repeat.  Well, she and I had a nice talk and she told me what was behind the breakup.  She just didn't love him like a husband.  She loved him like a best friend.  She also admitted that she was not attracted to him whatso ever.  Pretty sad.  Anyways, I told her I would help her but not that I was condoning the situation.  She appreciated it cause many of her friends just dissapeared.  Well, the day she was leaving and we were packing her uhaul I told her husband that I would be coming by the next two days after my regular jobs and I would clean up for him.  He was so grateful and I hauled stuff away that I could go through or save for our Rummage Sale at church.
So, I have been pretty tired but I am looking forward to looking out at the Pacific and saying Awwww.  This is my birthday present to myself.  I guess it would be better without 3 teenage boys but whatever.

I just realized that today is the 15th and I need to measure myself.  I'm not sure where the measuring tape is and I'm buzzing a little from my wine. hmm...

Oh, did you see my ticker?  For my countdown?  Cool huh :)

Ok, I better go now, gotta get some rest.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Miss Me?

No I have not gone anywhere.  I have just been lazy about blogging AND my last two weigh-in days were not so great so I have been avoiding you (BLOG).  I am getting excited though because in two weeks i will be a banded babe!  My surgery is the 26th (not 25th) and my pre-op appts are on the 20th.  I am going to try and eat good but on my birthday I might have a nice fatty dinner of Ribs or Honey chipotle chicken crispers....yum.  we will see.  I am turning 39 and I am so excited about turning 40 in a healthier body.

Sorry for being absent.  I know I should report the good and bad, if nothing else for me to read later on.

I was going through some pictures today and thought I would share one from my wedding day in 2002.  I dont recall my weight then but not far from me now I'm guessing.

Two weeks Peeps! woo hoo

Friday, June 24, 2011

Exciting news!

I went to the Dr.'s office and they did indeed have all my paperwork (tests etc.) so they were able to schedule me for surgery!  woo hoo!  The 25th of July.  Ok, now let me say.  Today I got a call from the doctors office and they wanted to see if I wanted to take the 12th for surgery cause someone cancelled.  I quickly talked to my husband and he said to take it.  He was driving to work and once at work his phone will be unreachable but I was excited that he said "go for it".  Then....... I get home and I am calling the doctors office back to say yes I will take it and also setting up the pre-op appt.  I also had to call hospital and schedule that pre-op appt.  It is going to be kind of crazy cause I am going to have to make a trip a week to San diego for three weeks.  That isnt real good but I gotta do it.  Also, I realized that my husand is required to attend the pre-op appt with me.  I scheduled that for the 1st and I am real worried that he wont be able to get that day off.  If he cant then I will have to undo all these appts and go with the original.  Ugh  lol

This morning was my weigh-in day.  I lost ONE pound! (after BM LOL)

Hope everyone has a great weekend.  Oh and I have still not been able to leave comments on blogs.  I also have problems with FB chat......not sure what is wrong.  :(

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Fathers Day

I just wanted to put up this pic of me and my Daddy.  He passed away 14 years ago next month.  I hope everyone had a great Fathers Day. 

I think Ronnie is only one that has seen the pic (its on Facebook).  Cute pic huh.......can you tell its from the 70's ?  lol

Today's pics

I felt like I looked pretty good this morning for church. Here are a few pics.....I think the side view is best :)





hmm.....now that I am looking at them on the computer I dont seem as "skinny".  Ok, we know I wasnt skinny but I was having a skinny day.  As I looked in the mirror I thought wow, but now, not so much.  I know we have discussed in the past how we see ourselves and how pictures do not acurately portray what we see with our own eyes.  Crazy shit I tell ya......ok yes I just said a bad word.  Anyways, I felt really good and I am not going to delete the pictures because I no longer agree with my earlier assesment...or the fact that we ate at Famous Daves and I also had ice cream after and I feel like a total hefer.  Ha ha........ok  sooo

I have two days to make up for eating like a cow.  I enjoyed my ribs and beans and cornbread and coleslaw and coffee ice cream with cookie dough mixed in.  Let me just chuck this up (no, not the food) but the experience as one of my last great meals before the band.  I dont want to feel like I deprived myself of this wonderful overstuffed feeling...........yes, i am being sarcastic.......I am just not going to feel bad about it.  i just have to make it up in the next two days.  No wonder my weight shifts so much in one week.  :)  Ok dear friends and my dear sweet blog you.......I will talk to you later

Oh and one last thing.........please dont mind the messy bathroom.....lol

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Weigh-in Friday........oops

I almost forgot to let you know.  I lost a half pound.  Believe me when I tell you that I am ok with that.  As you may have been able to tell lately from my blog, I have been having a hard time losing.  For several weeks now I have been going up and down on scale several pounds.  Even this week mid week I was up 3 pounds.  I tried soooo hard the last couple of days and even harder on thurday evening not to snack.  I succeeded and am happy that I lost the extra pounds I gained during the week and a half more.  I guess you can say that I am in the same spot as two weeks ago cause last week I gained a half pound.  UUGGHH........ok, I am not going to get upset.  I know I have not been banded yet (ronnie)  and I shouldnt be so worried but when my dr told me not to gain any more I took that seriously.  I will be going on Wednesday and I am going to wear something light LOL and see how I do..

What frustrates me to no end is commercials.........man oh man....they are a dieters worst nightmare.  Food, food and more food.  Sometimes all I want to do is eat eat eat.  I really need to buy some more cucumbers.  They really are yum with salt, pepper, chili powder and lemon.  Very good late night snack.

Ok, well, I am going to bed now.  I just wanted to let you all know how my weigh-in went.  I hope I can break this slow spell soon.  OH yeah, perhaps when i get the band!  :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Energy......where are you?


Oh dear Blog, where should I start?  It seems as if I have been kinda stuck in a rut for a few weeks now with my weight loss.  I was doing so well but it doesn't seem like the protein shake/smoothies are keeping me very satisfied and energized lately.  Having to clean 6-8 hours a day and then to come home and cook and do stuff for MY family seems impossible lately.  Ok, yesterday was an ok day and I did get some things done around the house but back to feeling exhausted today and low energy.

I lost a client this week.  She is a nice older lady that goes to my church.  She has an amazing big log cabin type house that is really clean but still she had me go every other week and mop and dust and such.  Well, she retired from teaching so she wont be needing me anymore.  She was sweet and was worried for me but I told her not to be.  I am actually relieved.  I mean, we really need the money but I am really tired.  I really feel like I need a break.  I have only been cleaning for 3 months (today).  Oh well.  I do have two jobs to do tomorrow but I dont have anyone scheduled for friday so I am going to take my son to see Super 8.  That will be nice.

I know I have to weigh in on Friday so I have one more day to make great choices and see what the scale tells me.  I actually really need to lose a few by next wednesday.  I have an appointment with the surgeon, the monthly one (till surgery), and they made it clear that they dont want to see any weight gain.  They should have all my tests, the only things I have to get done are the two classes.  I dont know if they will overlook that and just schedule me for surgery or be real strict.  If they will require them then I will have to make an effort to go next month.  They are usually on the first two thursdays of the month.  Only thing is they are 2 hours away and at 6:00pm.  No big deal really but my husband will be working those hours.  My mom should be back home tho by then so my son wont have to be alone.....not that that is such a big deal anymore he is 14.

So I am looking forward to the appointment.  My mom said she will probably be getting out soon so I see two trips to San diego within the next week.

Hmm......Im thinking that perhaps one of my trips to San diego I will visit the beach.  It is always very calming to look out to the ocean.  Yeah, I will have to do that. Perhaps I can write in the sand like this...


Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday - weigh me in scotty!

This has to be quick cause I have to clean up my house and prepare for some people coming over.  My son graduated Jr High last night.  I had two cleaning jobs today and now i gotta get in gear for tonight.  Anyways,  I changed my weigh in day to Friday so this morning I stepped on the scale and i was up a half pound.  This did not surprise me or upset me.  I have been doing a hell of a job the last couple of months so I am not going to get down.  Daily my weight is up and down so my gain was not unexpected.  In fact in like the last couple of weeks I was up a few pounds and then down before weigh in.  So now I am at an even number 256.  I have lost 27.  Not too shabby.

Ok, better get off my big booty and get to work.  Have a fabulous weekend and stay healthy.  Oh and I hope I can stay away from the giant cake I got from Costco.....ok maybe one small piece....but I will make up for it.  Toodles!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Woah!........weight loss effects

This is not what you may think.  I have mentioned before that I clean a house for a girl from my church that had the bypass a year or two ago.  Well, yesterday when I was at her house she told me that she may be leaving.  Leaving her marriage!  She said she has not been happy for a long time, about 6 years and she has dealt with it but she is just tired and she wants to be happy.  Her husband is taking it kinda hard.  He was home yesterday, guess having a hard time.  I told her she could have told me not to come but she didnt want to clean.  Anyways, she said they have been to see the Pastor and have talked to him and some people already know about their problems.  I sure didnt.  I mean, I didnt get to know her until I started cleaning for her.  She told me that she just wants to feel like what she looks like on the outside.  I know I have heard that before but the opposite way.

Do any of you fear what can happen when you get to your ideal weight?  Do you think your life will change dramatically?  How do you think it will affect your personality?  How have your spouses reacted?

I know myself and sometimes its scary to think about......but i dont want to get into it here.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Hmm....weighing day change?????

First of all let me say that I have read several blogs and wrote some comments but for some reason it wont post.  I am hoping it is a blogger problem and not mine.  Super annoying cause when I wanna say something, I wanna say it.....aarrgh!  So anyways, sorry friends for no response from me lately.

I am considering changing my weigh in day to Friday.  Weigh-in Wednesday has a nice ring to it but having to play make-up on Monday and Tuesday for my overeating or wrong choices during the weekend is tough.  So perhaps if I move it to Fridays and I have a nice loss then I wont be so prone to bad choices during the weekend.  I am not sure.

This week is going to be totally crazy.  I am working 6 days, 9 houses, my son is graduating Jr. High and he wants to have a little party.  Yeah, its gonna be a crazy week.  And the wind is blowing like crazy which gives me a headache and more dust to clean at work!  :(  oh well.
Oh.....hahaha, remember me complaining about the food at the birthday party I went to last weekend?  Well, that is what I am serving but my chili is going to be better and I could make it with turkey so it will be much healthier.  I will also be prepared so I will NOT have to eat the other bad stuff.

Ok, so I am going to change my day to Friday.  Any catchy names for that??  Hmm, cant call it Fat Friday, umm oh i dont know.
Im gonna go take some ibuprofen for my headache and head to my first house.  Easy house to clean (its very clean) just have to iron lots of clothes for 2 and 4 yr old ....little crazy but easy job.

Take care friends

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Weigh-in Wednesday

All I could think was that it was a miracle!  I lost 1 pound!  Yes, only one but if you only knew what kind of weekend I had you would say the same thing.  Saturday I was working a job that had me pretty busy.  I was hoping to be done by 2 so my family could head to San Diego to go see my mom but I didnt finish until 3 and due to some stress thing related to job I was a wreck!  Seriously, as I drove away from this house I was crying.  I had already decided that it was too late to head over the mountain and the wind was blowing like crazy so that was also kinda scary.  So since we didnt go we were obligated to attend a family members birthday (4 yr old).  I was soooo hungry.  Oh did i mention that while I was cleaning the only other person in the house cooked some bacon!  OMG it smelled so good and didnt help me.  I cleaned for 7 hours straight without a break for food.  Anyways, at the party there was hot dogs, nachos and chili beans.  It was ok tasting (my chili is better) but still I ate.  Oh and I also had 3 cupcakes.

The next day we went to church and planned on heading to SD right after.  So we hit the hamburgar stand and ate there.  And then after we visited with my mom we hit a food court at a mall up there and I ate at Panda Express.  Yes, I know!  I woke up Monday 5 pounds heavier.  Most was water I'm sure.  So I did my best to straighten up for the next couple of days and took a water pill and yes a laxative a couple of times.  I still was not expecting to have any loss on the scale.  I thought for sure I would still be up one or two but NOPE I was down ONE.  I am happy about that.  I know I cant keep having losses every week right?  UUGGHH I hope so.  I have a lot to lose.

Anyways, I am totally loving my protein shakes in the morning for breakfast.  I purchased some Whey protein in Vanilla since I only had a chocolate Lite Muscle Milk and I like to make a blueberry vanilla one.  I also added some flax in it this morning.......YUM.  I am soo going to stick to the protein shake for breakfast.  It really does help me.  Oohh I didnt mention here in my blog what happened when I didnt have my protein shake.  It was horrible.  But, my dear blog, I am too tired to type anymore and I must get my laundry out of dryer.  Toodles!