My Progress

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Thursday, March 31, 2011

It's a Miracle! Day late on weigh-in

I totally forgot to weigh myself yesterday morning.  I had to be at my first cleaning job at 8 am and I had to run to walmart before so I didn't even think about it.  I was feeling pretty good but my client brought me a hamburger on the way back from her dr appt.  I couldn't refuse it, that would've been rude.

I had another job at 12.  I cleaned for 8 hours yesterday and the second house was a two-story.  I think the stairs made me more tired than anything.

After my job I had to go pick up some medicines for my mom, gas up my car and pick up some chinese.  My mom had called me and said I should pick something up so "we didn't have to cook"  haha  so she picked chinese.  I of course like chinese but know that it has lots of salt.  Of course I ate some.  I worked by butt off.  Anyways, I had a feeling that I would be retaining water today but LO AND BEHOLD nope.  I LOST 2 MORE POUNDS!  WOW!  Yes, I was totally surprised and thrilled.

I have a new client today and it is going to be a doozy.  I have to be there at 8 also.  So my dear blog and friends, I am writing this first thing in the morning while my coffee is brewing.  I havent even combed my hair yet.

Take care and have a fabulous Day!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Doing Ok

After almost two years of not working it is taking some getting used to.  I mean, as a mom, wife and semi-caretaker of my mom I know that I haven't been just laying around but as far as secular work, I am out of touch.  I am really enjoying cleaning other people's houses.  It is so funny to meet a new client and look at their SPOTLESS house and know that they want it cleaned.  It blows my mind.  Hey, but I am not going to argue.  I am enjoying being out of the house although I enjoyed the time I was able to stay home.

So the last week I had 5 jobs but most were about 4 hours.  Next week I have 3 days full so far.  I need just a few more jobs to keep me busy.

The week after that I also have a few jobs lined up but also have my Dr. appt on Friday.  I am excited about getting that going.

It has been pretty easy to control my eating habits because I have been busy cleaning.  I usually take a protein bar and some Special K crackers with me if I get hungry or start to feel like I need the energy.  I really feel like I am getting more control over food.  I often dont even feel hungry anymore.  I really love that and take advantage of that as much as possible.  I'm sure you all know how great that can be.  One late afternoon my husband and I just got home and we were in the kitchen and I told him I was going to start dinner cause I only had a protein bar all day and he kind of chuckled and tapped my stomach and said what, you trying to starve yourself?  I said no that I just wasnt hungry and he seemed to not believe me.  I guess after seeing me eat so much in the past it is hard to grasp.  I hate to think that this is just a stage I'm going through but I guess it does sound too good to be true.  Oh well, we shall see.  Today I decided to go help out at the church (cleaning day) and I think part of me wanted to go so I wouldn't be at home doing nothing and be tempted with food.  I really wanted a day to relax but I am relaxing now so I'm fine.

Ok, I will end it here.  I know I just ramble sometimes and bless you for reading even though I am not a bandster yet.  I cherish you all, really.  Hope your weekends end without guilt.  :)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Good News!

Got a call from my primary doctor's office.  The authorization for consultation has been approved.  I made an appointment with surgeon's office.  Yay!

Now I just need to figure out how to do all that and still manage to clean houses.  I need the income.  Anyways, just thought I would share my good news.  I gotta run to meet a new client.  Have a great day!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Weigh-In Wednesday

Yes, my scale was happy to see me this morning.  I have lost 2 more pounds.  I am extremely happy with this seeing is how just a few days ago I was up those and more. So this makes 10 pounds down.  Yay!  It's been a struggle but I have to say the thing that helps me the most is staying busy, not thinking about food and my beloved Atkins bars.

I have also been blessed with work.  At the beginning of my weekend I only had one job lined up, by Monday I had 4.  I am meeting with 3 new clients this week also.  This makes me very happy because if I'm busy, I'm not in the fridge.

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Good and Bad Weekend

So it seems that food is coming at me from all angles, and tons of it.  Saturday evening our church had a meet and greet AND EAT with a Pastor we are looking at to hire.  It was a great turnout.  I have not seen so much food at one of our functions before.  There was about four long tables full of food and one table with desserts.  I didn't overeat but I did have some desserts too.  I do feel guilty about that.  Met the Pastor and really like him.

Today, I had to face the biscuits and gravy in the morning and I didn't even hesitate to make a plate and start eating.  I squirted some tabasco on it and dug in.  I actually didn't finish with the whole plate because I realized that it really didn't taste as good as I remember.  I still ate too much of it.  Today after church we went to Farmer Boys and I am staring up at the menu and am daunted by the calorie content..........INSANE.  I picked a cup of chili and a side salad and water.  Tonight I had some raw veggies and cantaloupe and a peanut butter sandwich. I am thinking that if I am to lose anything by my weigh-in I will probably have to do a protein shake, soup diet.

I called the Medical group last thursday to see if a decision had been made yet and they said no, but a girl from my primary care doctors office called them and asked them to expedite the authorization.  I dont know if that will speed things along any faster but at least I know my drs office is keeping up on things too.
I am thinking after this weekend that I really need the help the band will provide.  I seem to do ok for a while with my will power but then it backs down.  I know that the book i was reading was helping but I havent been able to read it lately.

Do any of you have any suggestions for me?  RONNIE, I LOVE YOU!  No I am not turning into a lesbian.  I just wanted to show my love.  Ronnie always comments and I really appreciate that.

Oh and the good part of my weekend.  We voted in our candidate as our new Pastor.  So glad, he seems great.  Well, I gotta go.........gotta pick up mom from the ER (asthma).

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Biscuits and Gravy! Oh my!

My mom came home from the doctors and store with some goodies and announced that she was making biscuits and gravy tomorrow morning.  I love her biscuits and gravy but lord have mercy, she knows I do not need them.  I do not want to paint a picture of my mom as a crazy, heartless woman.........really I dont and she isnt.  Please understand that I am venting here so I wont take any anger or frusteration out on her.  I have had to deal with her illness' and dozens and dozens of trips to the ER, so I really need to find a safe place to vent.  Yesterday was a great day.  I had a cleaning job that I am very proud of and wasnt hungry but only snacked on Special K crackers.  Of course last night I ended up eating some cereal and a salad.  This morning I thought I would check and see how well I did and hop on the scale.....well,, dont want to break it but the crazy scale said I gained 2.  I am hoping that it is water weight, I think it is.  So here I am faced with tomorrow.  We usually go to Carl's after church and now an unhealthy breakfast too.......uuughhhh, I just cant do it.  I also know that if I do in fact turn it down, which wont be too hard in the morning, there will be some left over and later that night I will be facing it all alone.  It will sit in the fridge taunting me.

I will fight it, I will.  Hope you all have a great rest of the weekend.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I can resist temptation, I can, I can, I can

As I was finishing up working yesterday my mom calls me and says "How much do you love me?"  Hmm I resisted the urge to scream........haha j/k   I asked her what she wanted.  She was begging for a coffee cake.  So instead of arguing with her or having to deal with her pouting later I said I would get it before I come home.

This is the beloved cake I came home with.  I will have you know that I used to love these when I was younger.  I haven't had one in years.

As I brought it home I was determined not to partake of this devil in disguise.  I set it on the counter and went to the computer and busied myself on Facebook.  I heard my mom come out of her room and open package.  She demolished about a 1/3.
I started dinner a bit later, placing the remains on bar counter.  We ate dinner and my son had a bit and my husband had a bit and then there was about 2 servings left (granted box said this box held 8  I asked who was going to have the last of it and my mom said give it to her.  I put it on her plate and then decided to look at box and see how many calories it contained.  I did some figuring and told her that she was having about 800 calories.  She didnt finish her piece and my son gladly took it from her.  Actually, I handed it to him but not before I took one tiny piece and ate it.  Yup I ATE IT.  I looked at my husband and said "wow, that didn't even taste good".  He agreed with me.  For a split second I wished I was bulimic so I could barf up what I just ate, but I know that was wrong to think.  But seriously, that was the biggest wasted bite of food I have had in a long time.

So, I was seriously very happy with myself to not have dug into that box the minute it reached my kitchen.  That is a huge victory for me people!

I am not being deprived though.  I have a secret weapon.  I purchased some more Atkins bars today and they are so good.  Its like eating a candy bar.  They are a bit pricey so I got some coupons online and so that helps.

Welcome, to my new followers.  I am honored that you are willing to spend your time listening to me blab.  Please leave me comments, I love them all.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Weigh-In Wednesday and Monthly Measurement

I have lost a half pound since last week, which I have to say isnt so bad because on Monday morning I was up one pound so technically I have lost 1 1/2 since monday.  I know, I know, I can't count that.  I have lost 1/2 pound.  That is ok with me.

Last month on the 15th I took my measurments.  I wish I would have remembered what I wore for that so I could wear the same thing but anyways........ Yesterday I took them again and I lost 4 inches!  Unfortunately 2 were in my boobs!  What is up with that?  Haha

Onto other junk.  If you rather not read on I understand.

Yesterday me, my mom and my husband were sitting in the living room and she asks me if I want to go get some chicken for dinner, I said no that I was cooking something.  She asked what and when I told her she just gave me a look like UH.  Damn KFC commercials have been getting to her lately, she is dying for it I can tell.  I do a lot of cooking because it is cheaper and I can control what we eat.  I guess she doesn't always like that.  One day last week she was wanting pizza.  She called me while I was in town and asked me if I wanted to pick one up.  I said No and I didn't have my purse with me anyway.  She asked me if I wanted to come back home and go back to town.  UH NO.  We live in the country like 5-6 miles from town.  Funny how she asks ME if I want it huh.
A couple of days ago we go to Walmart after church and she is buying some food and other misc items.  We managed to keep her away from the Valentine isle.....physically pulling her motorized cart back out of the isle, it was funny.  She did manage to get two king size twix home and when I seen them on the counter I told her to take them, hide them because I couldn't see them.  I am too weak for that.

So this week so far has been good.  I have been watching my eating, only eating when I am hungry and getting some exercise in.  Full steam ahead!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Bring it on!

I am ready to tackle the coming week.  I have 3 jobs lined up for this week.  The first one I am not real sure how it will go.  The lady wants to pay $10/hr and for only 4 hours, which is ok but she wants me to go at 10 which kind of makes this job the only one I can do that day.  I will have to insist on going earlier or later in the day because I will have to do another job (eventually) on the same day.  She also said she might need me to go to the store or take her to the doctor once in a while, of course paid.  So its a little weird, but I will see how things go.  I also am going to a friend's house on Wednesday to help her clean out her garage.  I am pretty sure she already has someone come regularly to clean her house but she is so sweet and asked me to help her out.  Nice friend from church.  On Friday I have a house to do and I already seen it and know what is involved.  She is paying $60, so that is fine.  I am looking forward to getting started.  I also am just waiting for some call backs from 3 that are just getting the times figured out.

Ok, so I know that had nothing to do with my weight loss journey but I had to share.  So now I have to make an effort to make it to the gym whereas before I just went whenever I got up and around to it.  I truly admire all you women who have full-time jobs and/or several kids and still make it a priority to go to the gym.  

This week I am going to concentrate on taking in all my water and no fast food.  Being out and about you know how easy it is to just drive thru somewhere and grab a bite.

Today after church we went to Carl's Jr. and I ordered a kids burger and zucchini instead of fries.  My mom looks at my meal and says "Is that all you are going to eat?"  and then she proceeded to offer me at least 4 times some of her burger or some of her onion rings.  My dear husband answered for me, supporting me.  I did have his last bite of jalapeno burger though (boy, was it good).  What was even better was when we left and headed for Walmart for a few things, I thought to myself and then said out loud "I am really full" and I was telling the truth.  I felt satisfied with my puny burger and zucchini (which were good).

This morning I was up one pound so that is why I was determined to get only the kids meal for lunch.  Now it is the end of the night and I will just have to stay away from the kitchen. water water water and no fast food.  Prepare snacks and have them handy when I am out and about.

Have a great week and I will be back on Wednesday for my weekly weigh in and my monthly measurements.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Update on Lap Band Journey, yeah right!

January 11th  appointment with primary doctor to discuss Lap-Band and get ok from her
January 26th  info just received at Insurance Approval Dept.
Feb 21 or 28th (cant remember which) info sent to Medical Director after repeated calls from me to ask about                                                   status of authorization for CONSULTATION!
March 10 still no answer

I have called everyday for weeks now.  They are only open M-Th and I know they are short staffed but seriously.  This is rather annoying don't you think?

Due to my financial situation and my desperate need to start cleaning some houses for money I have not been real angry or even excited about getting the Band.  I just don't see how I can do it right now (even if I had the ok)  My husband makes pretty good money but it is not enough to pay for everything.  I am trusting in God to provide for us but i am hustling for the jobs.

Anyways, on to bigger and better things.  Below is a couple pictures I took a couple of weeks ago.  They are not the ones I had mentioned before were I was in underwear and a sports bra.  This is still showing enough to see where I need to shed.  Oh and next tuesday will be my measuring day.  I took my measurement last month for the first time.  I think Ronnie did the same.  I have lost 7.5 pounds so far so I am hoping it will show up a little in the measurements.

I feel so huge when I look at these pictures.  Crazy thing is I don't feel like I look.  I know me and Lauren often talk about that.  We are so much cuter than our reflection shows us sometimes.
I could have at least put on make-up or did my hair, that might have
Oh well...........that's me........a whole lot to love.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Weigh-In Wednesday

Hello my blog, how are you today?  Have I told you lately that I love you??  Cute little blog you!  LOL

Having followers is really a bonus.  I love to blog.  It is much easier than keeping a journal.  I guess that is just the lazy side of me talking.

Anyways, I have not gained or lost any weight since last wednesday.  Well, you know what I mean.  I did gain a half pound this weekend but by this morning I had lost it.  It only took stepping on the scale 4 times to get this reading.  I weighed at 6am when I got up to get my boy off to school, didnt really like that reading, a couple more times cause readings were different and then when I woke up again (yes I went back to bed after I got him on the bus) and I like that reading so I kept that one.  We women are crazy species aren't we?

I worked out today and yesterday so far this week.  Today I felt very weak and started to shake after my workout but soon after consuming 50g protein I felt good.  The manager at the gym gave me a protein bar she said was an extra (sweet friend) and I had a protein shake waiting in car for me.

I am feeling pretty good right now.  I made a sign for my car for my new cleaning business and I do have a client I am meeting this Friday.  I am so excited to start this.  I also really need the money.

Have a blessed day everyone!

Monday, March 7, 2011

I'm back

Back from the Woman's Retreat.  It was a challenge but I really enjoyed the times I went out to this little area and spent some alone time with God.  I put my phone on a timer and took this picture.  Funny....wonder if anyone seen me do this.  Ha ha  oh well.  I appreciate all the prayers I received from you all.
It was crazy how much we ate.  Three square meals a day.............who does that???? lol  There was good food and I never ate till I was stuffed but I did feel like I had eaten more in those two days then in a long time.  I was dreading any gain I was surely to have.  Although, there was walking and hills so I didn't feel guilty for eating.

So this morning I took my shame walk to my scale and lo and behold I had only gained a HALF pound.  Hallelujah!  haha  So I am back to connecting with my body and only eating when I am hungry.

I will be back to speed with all the blogs soon, bare with me----you guys are busy.  Hope your Monday is fabulous.

Friday, March 4, 2011

My weekend getaway

I am leaving for a woman's retreat in about an hour.  I am experiencing all sorts of emotions.  I am really looking forward to the speaker and becoming closer to God but I have to tell you I am also very stressed out.  Without going into details I will say that someone in the group (thankfully not in my cabin) are no longer close and being in this close proximity to her will be very difficult for me.  For her too I imagine.  We used to be friends.  I made the mistakes.  I am trying to become a better person.  Last I heard we are in van going up to retreat together.  I guess the hard part is pretending to everyone else that everything is ok and normal.  I guess that is all I will say.

I am doing my best to not let my emotions get to me and lead to emotional eating.  I will have my Ativan handy.  As much as I look forward to the events of this weekend I also look forward to getting back home.  I have much to do to get going on my new business cleaning.

I hope everyone will have a great weekend.  If you are a praying soul please say one for me.  I will be back Sunday night and have lots to read (blogs).  Love you all and welcome to my new followers.  I will follow you too.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Weigh-In Wednesday

Despite my crazy week I managed to lose 5.5 pounds!  Woo Hoo!

All I can say is that I have really been trying to listen to my body and only eat when I feel an emptiness in my stomach.  I did give in last night and have a bowl of raisin bran just cause I wanted it but thankfully it didn't hurt me.  It has been a challenge though, I am an emotional eater and several things have happened in the last couple of days that really make me want to run to the fridge and throw something in my mouth.  I have to really fight it.  This is my battle.  I hope this isn't just a passing thing.

Hope everyone is having a great week.  Ronnie, I love you girl and am so proud of your hard work and weight loss.  You inspire me!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Is this the end of my journey?

Yesterday I got my unemployment check and found out that it is the last one.  This pretty much stressed me out.  We cannot pay the house and rest of bills with just my husbands check.  My mom has just started to help out but not a whole bunch.  Of course I can't tell my mom because it would cause great anxiety and more trips to ER.  So last night I took a sleeping pill and tried to leave my burdens on God.  I did however think "well, thats it for my surgery".  How can I plan that now.  The trips to San Diego, gas money, special foods.  So I was rather bummed out.

Today I finished an application that I had started online for Nurse assistant, which is basically like an orderly and I sent out a message on my facebook that I was available for house cleaning.  A friend who does nails responded back that she has women asking all the time.  She made a little flyer for me and posted it at her work.

So as the day has progressed I have felt better and better.  I don't know about going forward with my surgery but I guess I will take it one step at a time.

Weigh-in Wednesday is tomorrow!