2 Months Post Op

Wow, Ok guess I shouldve straightened up before the pic huh?  J/k.  I was actually sorting some laundry to do.  lol   I dont particularly like the side of me that makes excuses for something good instead of just embracing it but in this picture I am wearing workout clothes (that I dont work out in, rather I sleep in on occasion) and these shorts are slimming so there is a bulge her and there.  Ugh!  Ok, well its not like I was wearing spanx but you understand.  I have appeared to have lost more inches than actual pounds and that is fine with me.  I know that is more important and actually us as women lose more inches due to all the fat. ugh   So below is the picture the night before surgery and todays pic.  It might be hard to tell due to location but if you see a difference please tell me.  I would love to hear that. (dont we all)

The shorts in the first pic are not the same, rather my husbands lounge shorts with pockets.

Im thinking I should wear the black workout shorts under all my clothes in lieu of spanx, they are much more comfortable.  lol

I think I might go make some more pics with the same clothes and same place and then we will see the difference.  I have some pics from when I first started losing and that would be even more noticable.  I still have so much to lose but I know I am on the way.

Yesterday a client made my day when he said I looked great.  He hadnt seen me in 2 months and said he really notices the difference.  That was so great to hear and really helped me the rest of the day to watch my self.  Everyday is a struggle especially when I am home.  All I want to do is eat.  Ugh, hate that.  :(

Weigh-in

Yesterday was my weigh-in day.  I lost 1.5 pounds!  I kinda feel like I cheated though cause I got on the scale several times.  The first time I was only down .5 and then I waited a few minutes, tinkled a little more and then I was down 1.5, I have no idea why the big change.  Maybe my tile floor.....I dont know.  So I took the 1.5 and saved that!  Oh and I actually did it again to be sure and yes, it was the same.

I only made it to the gym 2 days this week cause I pulled a muscle on my job tuesday.  The back of my leg up to my butt on the right was killing me.  I actually woke up in agony tue night.  Luckily I had a heating pad and that was the only thing that helped.  I had my mom put some ben-gay on my leg but she rubbed it in to much I guess cause it burned soooo bad.  But now I am back to normal and will be ready to hit the gym again on Monday.

My mom will not be making the cinnamon rolls this weekend.  For one, she is not feeling real well and two I am the one that does the shopping and I didnt buy any yeast.  Yes, she was going to make them from scratch.  I am relieved.  I have mentioned in the past and realize once more that I cant have those things around (in abundance) or I will be in trouble.  Remember the cake she made last weekend.......well, I even found myself getting a spoon and getting some batter from the bowl AFTER the cake was made and I had a piece or two.  Yes, I have issues and I know I need to work on them.

I have also learned that MY issues with food are not necessarily others peoples issues with food.  There is a lot of food policing going on in my house especially with my mom (my husband is real bad) and I have in turn done the same to a dear friend and inadvertedly made her feel bad.  I am grateful she told me otherwise I would continue my bad behavior and comments and perhaps ruining our relationship.  It isnt always nice when someone holds a mirror to your face but it will make you a better person.  I feel horrible for causing her any pain and I apologized.  I love you dear friend and am very proud of you.

Have a great weekend friends!

Houston, we have a problem!

Weekend started off really well.  I cleaned up my closet (its a walk-in) on Friday night, yeah, im wild like that.  Saturday morning I managed to cut grass in yard in a part that was outgrowing the rest due to laundry water run-off.  I kind of gave up after that cause I really didn't want to do much on my day off.  I did have to make a run to Costco for a few items THEN I was done.  I took a nap and in the evening planned on watching a movie with family.  Unfortunately my son's friend hadn't left yet and so it was just me, husband and my mom watching it. 

So are you wondering where the frustration came from.  During the movie my mom went to kitchen and I seen her mixing something (kitchen and livingroom are open design) and so I asked her what she was doing.  We already had plenty for dinner!  My husband got up and said "She is making a cake".  "But, no frosting" she says (yeah just sprinkled heavily with powdered sugar)  Hmm... so IM THINKING UGGHHH but oh yeah, cake! Within the next 15 hours I proceeded to eat between 3-4 pieces.  But before the night was over she even apologized for making the cake.  She knows I have a problem.  So we move on to Sunday morning.  We are all in the car and going to church.  My mom says that every weekend she is going to bake something and next weekend it will be cinnamon rolls.  Oh boy.  First thing I think of is wow, something new to blog about.  But on the bright side I have one week to prepare myself.

What would you do to prepare for this challenge?

I have learned that I cant have thing around the house that I love.  If I buy chips it is a kind I dont care for and if I buy cookies (hardly ever) then I certainly dont buy the soft chewy chocolate chip kind.   I dont feel deprived if it isnt around.  But when something is around I am powerless.

Hopefully she will change her mind and not make them.  Ok, I better get going.

Good and Bad of Week and Weigh-In

It has been an amazing week, very tiring but not bad.  What I have managed to do all week is hit the gym while my son is at practice.  This has made me feel very good and proud of myself.  I also think it was made easier by the fact that my husband is working nights so he isnt home to tend to.  The only downside is that I have not cooked dinner all week which means my mom does.  My doctor pointed something out to me and I guess I should be ashamed.  I told my doctor that my mom was cooking and one particular night she made chicken and dumplings and I probably didnt sound too thrilled about it.  She said to me "Be thankful that you have someone to cook for you and make chicken and dumplings, you can just have less"  Ok, so yes, this was kinda like a slap in the face.  I guess when I look at food and I see something that I know to be bad for me (not necessarily the C&D) but I think more of quantity than quality.  For instance, I will be able to make dinner tonight and the first think I think of is what can I make that is healthy that I can have a lot of!  Wow, how terrible is that.  No wonder I almost hit 300!

I have got so much to learn about control.  I really hate being out of control.  

So the good:
1.  Made it to gym every day this week (and plan on going again today)
2.  I have LOST 2 pounds
3.  I get quiet alone time while husband works nights (dont tell him I said that)

The bad:
1.  Have not been home to cook wonderfully healthy dishes for family
2.  Have to decide if I want to eat my moms food (Man, I sound terrible huh)

So the Good outweighs the bad, that is all that matters.  I am so glad it is Friday.  As you can see my weigh-in was good.  Crazy thing about that is I was 242 every day this week EVEN YESTERDAY and seems the 11th hour strikes again, I dont know how I even gave into a little bowl of macaroni and cheese late last night!  crazy but I will take it.  My mom on the other hand has gained 3 pounds.  I told her to figure out her mistake and learn from it.  She said "no more shakes"  No, she wasnt having real shakes but more like a smoothy.  She has been addicted to these smoothys lately and when she makes one it is huge so she said no more.  I tried to tell her to just make a small glass to get the taste but she said no, no more.  Hmm, guess I know where I get that attitude from.

Ok, I better head to work now, got one job today but it is a messy one.  I like this job though cause I can see how pretty I can make it.  Have a fabulous weekend!

Bad Bad Tanya.....or was it?

I am guilty of eating birthday cake ALL weekend! A bite hear and a bite there.  Ok, at my son's birthday I was supposed to be on creamy liquids so I blended up some of my chili and that was ok.  A little later when everyone was happily eating cake i decided to ......Yep, blend it.  I made a cake shake.  I actually only hade a couple sips and decided it wasnt worth it.  I wasnt enjoying it.  So later that night I had a sliver and then the rest of the weekend a bite hear a couple bites there.......you get the idea.  Even at church sunday night when I was on soft foods I had some upside down cake.  Yes, this weekend was one of those.  But happily I didn't eat too much more I GUESS cause my weight was same as on Friday morning (weigh-in)  Hallelujah!

Today I am officially onto regular foods.  I actually put a crock pot of beans on last night so this morning I made my son and I a couple eggs and a spoon of beans......yum......BUT I didnt feel too great after.  I ate too fast.  Trying to get my son out the door to make it to the bus in the morning is sometimes very rushed and I did eat too fast.  I have to drive him down the road to the bus stop.

I really must go now and prepare something for when I am at work today.  I have one house to clean and it usually takes me 6 hours.  Have a terrific Tuesday friends!

Needles, Birthday and broth

Made a quick drive up to San Diego to see the doctor (actually seen the assistant) and gave them a progress report.  Oh, and I hate their scale!  Nothing was mentioned about my weight loss, she just plugged in my measurement #'s and showed me on computer where I was at.  I have lost a few inches.  She then asked about how I was eating and what I could eat.  I told her I could eat anything and I always stop before I actually want to UGH.  She then asked me if I wanted 1cc, 1 1/2 cc or 2 cc.......ummm 2, she said ok, then I said "wait, let me ask you........is that being too aggressive?" and she said no, that I knew my body and let me have it *poke*.  She then told me that I have to do 2 days of clear, 2 days of creamy and 2 days of soft food.  Did I mention that I was throwing a birthday party for my son tomorrow? umm NO, I did not, she might have hesitated.  She had me down a shot of water and told me that I might burp, so here I was feeling like I needed to burp on command and I couldnt.  She said that was good and if the fill was too much then she would know by now..........water out nose or something like that  lol.

So I drove my starving self all the way back home.  I hit the GNC for some strawberry protein cause it was last day of sale and then I had to go to Walmart for some sewing needles and mop for client and then to Costco for a few other things.  I also had to go to Parent night at my school.  Talk about a day Im glad was over.  I ended up having like 3 cans of broth, pretty tasty with a little spices.

Today is my son's birthday and he is playing a game in San Diego.  I wont be able to make it *sucks* but I have another dr appt and two jobs to do today.  I hope the broth I take with me will keep me going.  Hmm, my rockstar lemonade is clear lol.  Last night I joked with my husband "wine is clear" but I dont think he thought that was funny.  Sometimes I think my husband thinks im weird.  lol

Oh and my husband is trying real hard this week to have a good weigh in tomorrow but he also is giving in to the chili and nachos im making for the party.  He loves it........oh yeah I would too  ughh  no no, dont feel bad for me, im glad i got fill and on restricted diet.......makes me feel in control.  Ok, gotta run for now, have a great weekend all.

Happy Tuesday!

I am feeling pretty awesome today despite the fact that I am up like 5 pounds! Yes, I am but i know exactly why.  Last night I had a spicy shrimp cup soup which has tons of sodium.  I didnt drink ALL of the broth but 2/3.  I have to be very good today.  I already took a water pill.  I have my appt tomorrow.  I pray I will get a fill.  I do feel like I get hungry sooner that I should.

So, yes I am feeling pretty good today.  I have a house to clean and some shopping for another client today.  I think it will be a good day.  It is also nice that school is back in session so my houses are usually empty now and easier to clean.

My son is turning 15 this thursday.  Seems crazy but true.  We are having a little party on Friday full of the cheap staples hot dogs, chili beans, nachos and cake.  I am kinda hoping that if I do get a fill I will be put on liquids for a few days and so I wont be as tempted.  Guess I will know tomorrow.

Well, I better go for now.  Have a great week!

Weigh-In Day

Today was our weigh-in day.  I got my mom and husband involved (we could all use some weight loss) and my mom thankfully stayed the same.  She was put on prednisone which makes her very hungry.  She actually cried because she was so frusterated cause she knew she was eating too much.  So when she got on scale and it was same as last week she was relieved.  My dear husband lost 3 pounds *insert silent scream* and I am happy for him.  Men!  And I am happy to report that I have lost 2!  It wasn't easy though.  I wanted to eat more than I had but I really tried.  I did not snack at night and it paid off.  I did go for a nice walk last night too.  I intended on going tonight but ended up re-arranging my bedroom instead.  Does wrestling with dust bunnies count as excercise?

Right now I am waiting for my son to call me.  His Freshman Football team is out of town, they played and WON and I am just waiting for him to call so I can go pick him up.  Meanwhile, I'm thinking about food and what I can have.........I hate that.  This is the time of day that can break me.  I am trying to be strong.  I had two houses to clean today so my mom made dinner ..........hot dogs and potatoe salad, just what a dieter needs right.  Well, I had some potato salad and not much (about 5pm) and just about an hour ago (9pm) I made a triple berry protein shake, that was good but the potato salad was calling out to me.  I pretended not to hear.

Im gonna go for now, have a great Labor day weekend all :)