Random thoughts and pics

Yesterday I went to Walmart and Costco and I felt pretty good.  I was dressed cute and had my hair and makeup done.  It isnt often when I go through much effort to go to town but I did.  Anyways, when I feel like I look cute I tend to watch for looks from people.  Most of us girls like to get a look here and there, right?  Well, I dont know why but I burst my own bubble.  Instead of walking with my head held high and feeling confident I thought about my body and felt terrible.  Thankfully I was already on my way out of last store, but what gets me is I can feel great about myself, I know I am pretty, I know I can be sexy but then I remember that my body DOES NOT REFLECT what I feel like in my head.  I hate that!  I dont feel morbidly obese, I dont feel unattractive but that is what my body is saying.

I painted and cleaned my closet out last week and found ONE pair of jeans I fit in right now.  I found them at a thrift store for $1......score....... but the sad fact is they are a size 24!  Believe it or not, I have about 25-30 pairs of pants that I dont fit in.  So when I finally start loosing it will be great to have all these pants.  They range from 18 to 22.  I do have a skirt that is a 16, wont that be a kick to wear.  I also have some shoes that are a bit too snug to wear right now.......oh and heels. I imagine they will be easier to wear without 280 pounds on them.

I'm tempted to call my insurance on tuesday and see if they approved me yet.  I know it will have only been one week but I am curious and anxious.  Isn't it weird how when we are ready to make a change in our lives we want it to happen right then and there...........Hey I think that was close to a line in When harry met sally.  anyways, I know some people have to wait months and months to get things going and who knows I might have too also but I hope not.  I will be turning 39 in July....OH CRAP, did you hear that! No No, that cant be right.  Oh my, yes it is true.  I certainly dont feel like I'm almost 40, well, except for the aches and pains.  Having this lap band will mean that I will turn 40 with a new attitude and healthier than ever.  Bring it on!

Here are a couple of pics I took so you have a better idea what I look like right now.

Here are a couple pics of my wonderful husband and my son

 Halloween 2009

My son is really into Army gear.  My brother was in the Army and he soooo looked up to him.

Thanks so much for being a part of my journey.

Tanya