My Current Status and my mom

Last week I had my appointment with the surgeon and my psych evaluation.  My psych eval was the last of the pre-op testing to do.  I was told by the nurse that she would have the report within two weeks to my surgeon.  My surgeon told me that when they have everything they would submit to insurance and they usually take like two weeks.  Soooo in one month I will be able to schedule my surgery (if all goes as plans).  I have an appt on the 15th at Dr. office, which i actually have to change cause I am being summoned for jury again, but if all the info is in they will count that as a pre-op appt.  My doctors office require that you go in once a month until you are scheduled for surgery.  They need to know that you are commited and all.  So since i will be moving that up a week all the info should be in.

Oh, I did forget that I have two classes that I have to take.  That is a little harder cause they are on a thursday evening at 6:30.  It's ok but as you may recall I live 2 hours away from Dr.  It's a nice drive but will be very dark on the way home through mountains.

Today my Mom was transferred to a Nursing Home.  I really hate that title.  It should be called a Extended Care facility.  They have a really great therapy center and the place is not real big so the personal care is much better.  My family will be going up to visit and take her some things on Saturday.  It is also in San Diego (2 hrs) but it will be nice with my husband and son.  Only bad thing is I have to clean a house on Saturday so I will be a bit tired.

My cleaning business is going great.  I wish I charged a little more but doing fine for now.  I have about 14 houses I do now.  Majority are super easy so its great.

I want to apologize for now being up to date with all my friends blogs.  I pray you all are doing well.

Weigh-In Wednesday

The beginning of the week was "hurry and make up for the weekend".  It was tough cause I wasn't real prepared for it.  I didn't make my protein shake one morning and I didn't have any meal replacement bars.  Anyways, I barely survived.  Last night I was so hungry.  My body was screaming for food like never before.  I made a salad with some crab meat, tomato and half of an avocado and spritzed with Ranch spritzer.  After that I had to eat an Atkins bar cause I really really wanted something sweet.

I gave up and went to bed early last night.  Like at 8!  Yeah, crazy.  This morning I felt a bit like I was retaining water so I was nervous about getting on the scale but I figured hey, I have been losing every single week for a bit now so dont beat myself up right.  I peed one more time and lingered on the john and sure enough I was able to blah blah blah.

I got on the scale wearing nothing but my underwear and Hallelujah I lost ONE pound.  Yes, I am glad for that.

So far on my own I have lost almost 27 pounds, not too shabby.

I better go now, gotta put a roast in crock pot, make my smoothy and be at job within the hour.  Have a great on friends!

Not so great weekend and no guilt

Friday I was leaving San Diego when I got a call from my mom's case manager.  She said the Dr. said that if she was stable they would let her go on Tuesday.  She would be either taken to a Nursing Home "where she could get some physical therapy" or home with me as long as someone was able to check on her while I am out working.  Needless to say I was dumbfounded.  First off what in the world  is considered stable to this freakin doctor.  My mom has been confined to her bed and only able to make one step out of bed to her bedside commode.  She gets extremely week when moving around and has even fell once.  I told the lady that we were under the impression that her hospital was where she was going to get some help.  My mom is in NO better shape then when she went there.  In fact she has a chest cold right now.  She told me to think it over and we will talk on Monday.  I am going to call the doctor in the morning and demand to know what testing have they done on her, why she is so weak and what does he consider stable.
My mom told me today that they wanted her to walk yesterday.  She told them how confused she was cause first they want her to stay in bed (even had an alarm on her bed) and now they want her to get up and walk.  We are convinced that they just want her out!  What the hell!

The reason why I mentioned this was because when my husband, son and I went to the Mall yesterday and ate at this great place called Burgers & Beer, I ate a burger called a Lava burger........good and hot and probably 800-900 calories and I also had some asparagus fries  oh and also two mixed drinks.  BUT I FELT NO GUILT!  I loved every bite and drink.  I needed those drinks man woohoo.  Ok, so I thought that I would have to not eat for two days but today after church we went back to the mall and ate at the food court.  I ate at a mongolian place, where you pile your stuff in a bowl and they add some sauce and noodles.  It was pretty good and I got my spicy food again.  We went to the movies and I ate the rest in there.  I am trying not to feel guilty about today.  Ok, so tomorrow when I am out and about cleaning (2 jobs) I will have to find something to eat.  I am out of my protein bars.  Oh well.
I know I am up 2 pounds at least so I will have some major work to do before wednesday.  Wish me luck!  :)

Blog award

Thank you Chrissy for the award!

10 things about me

1.  My favorite color is purple
2.  I could live in my bathroom (jacuzzi tub, tv, fridge)  oh yeah baby
3.  I am a very picky cleaner....
4.  I went to school to become a teacher but failed miserable at the math
5.  Recently considered going into nursing
6.  I love to read motivational and inspirational books
7.  I wear my Ipod when I am working and occasionally dance and sing to the  music
8.  I am a size 10 (in shoes)
9.  I love helping people
10. My name is actually spelled Tanja on my birth certificate


I am choosing not to pass along this award only because it gets kind of crazy when awards start going around.  I hope this doesnt offend anyone.  If I am wrong please let me know and I will pass it on.

Thanks

Weigh-in Wednesday

I am happy to report that I have lost 3 more pounds.  Yee Haw!

My husband says yeah, its easy when you dont eat.  I had posted a picture of a Metrx protein bar (collosal) and a Rockstar as my lunch on Facebook.  I guess he didn't think that that was very much.

My appt with the surgeon went fine, nothing exciting.  Good thing that I went to see my mom too or that would have been a complete waste of time.

Ok, thats it for now, gotta get some things done....

Random thoughts

Yesterday I was cleaning the house of a girl from church who has had the bypass a year or so ago.  She is 5'9 about 185 and a size 12 now.  She still wants to lose about 20 more and is taking some pill from GNC to help her.  She works from home as some sort of computer training coordinator for HP.  So she is home from 7-3 for sure 5 days a week.  Her husband is a bit on the chunky side.  Ok, what gets me is as I am cleaning up the kitchen I notice a huge canister full of peanut M&Ms.....of course I grabbed a few.  That container looked so cool with all the colors and was just sitting on the counter waiting for someone like me to come along.  Then as I am washing some dishes I grab a pan from the stove with a lid on it and discover a homeade carrot cake with one piece left.  No, I didnt.  What makes me scratch my head is how someone who has just had this major surgery have that stuff around.  How can you walk by it without grabbing a few.  I was telling my husband this and then it hit me..........I AM THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM not her.  Obviously she is able to refrain if she has lost around 100 pounds so far.  I guess its just hard for me to imagine me buying or making those things when I have these kinds of issues with them.  I mean, I am not going to NEVER have them again but I will not keep them there in plain site.

She mentioned to me that her goal weight was around 160 and I said mine too.  She said I will be rail thin.  I dont believe that but then again I cant remember when I was ever 160.  So, hmm I have that as my goal but is that realistic??  I dont know.  I have always been "big-boned" even as a child so I dont know.

I have decided to enjoy the ride to the goal weight.  I hate the idea of how everything will fall into place "once i am at goal"  NO, I am living now and enjoying the little accomplishements.  This morning I was sitting in my chair in the living room and I am looking down at my stomach and I tell my husband (and son is in room too) that I am having a skinny day cause my boobs are more prominent than my belly.  My son asked what prominent meant and I told him that it sticks out........he said oooohhh, thats what the game told him about his ears....... guess he was playing some game that measures him up.  silly huh......it was funny but you had to be there.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day.  I think I am ready.  I have to go to San Diego but if I am up early enough I will post my results before I go.

Thanks for listening :)

Measuring Day

Last night as I was in bed I realized that it was the 15th and my monthly measuring day.  I only take 3 measurements: my bust, waist and hips.  In the last month I have lost 4 inches; 1.5 in my bust, .5 in waist and 2 in hips.  This is pretty cool.  I know that measurements are a better way to gauge weight loss than a scale. 

I will be back in two days to give you my weight for the week.  On that day i am also meeting with the surgeon.  He should have all my test results except the psych eval by then.  I have that appt on Friday.  I am not thrilled about having to go to San Diego 2 times this week but then again I will get to see my mom and see how she is coming along.

I am still trying to get over my cold which sucks cause I have to clean all day like this.  I will write more about that later.  Have a great week friends.

Weigh-In Wednesday

Yesterday while I was cleaning at one of my jobs I took the opportunity to use the full length mirror they had to take a couple of pics.  This one shows more of my body but my head is cut off.  I am feeling better and better everyday.

Today was my weigh-in day and I have lost 2 pounds.  Yay!  Believe me its all about not eating much at all.  Some days it is harder than others but I like that I am getting used to not eating so much.  I am eating to live instead of living to eat.  Ok, well, maybe not entirely true but I am getting there.

I better get my big butt in gear.  I got two jobs to do today and I have a cold.  NOT COOL.  I hope all is well with you all.

Friend's Blog

Dear Friends,

I have a friend that has a blog called Future You University with Mike Spillman.  He is an amazing man just trying to help others with his insight and wisdom.  His blog is not about weight loss but more about everyday life and issues.  If you would like to check him out I would so appreciate it.

http://futureyouuniversity.blogspot.com/ 

  He really needs some feedback.  He used to have a blog and was out for about six months and getting followers to respond has been difficult.  I personally love to respond cause I am full of issues and he always responds back to me.  Please check him out.  His blog is never long.  Thanks friends

Now that my tears have dried.....

Today was an incredibly hard day for me to handle and I will explain why.  Let me go back a few days.  Remember when I mentioned that my mom was back in the hospital and I was waiting for a call.  Well, they did admit her.  She just couldn't walk more than a few steps without having to stop and catch her breath.  Well, on Thursday while I was cleaning a house she calls me and has me talk to the dr.  The Dr. told me he wanted to send her to San Diego to a long-term care facility.  He said she is in and out of hospital too much and she needs more care than they or I can give her.  The hospital they wanted to send her specializes in Pulmonary issues as well as other things.  They planned on sending her the next day (friday).  My mom was not real happy and just not sure of it.  I convinced her that she was going away like the contestants from Biggest loser do to get healthy.  So last night she was taken by ambulance to this new hospital.

This morning she called me sobbing and asking me to come get her and that she didnt want to stay there.  I tried calming her and asked her what did they do.  She said nothing its just she wasnt comfortable and didnt like the atmosphere.  The Dr. came in and i stayed on phone while he talked with her.  He asked her why she was crying and explained to her that she wasnt forced to stay and he wanted to help her but only if she wants the help.  When I got off the phone I called my brother and told him to call her.  I also called her sister and left a message for her.  Meanwhile I was crying cause I am 2 hours away and not sure what to do.  I called the hospital and talked with the nursing supervisor and asked him (ugh) to visit her and try and make her feel more welcome.

I went of Facebook and shouted out for prayers and texted a few people to pray also.  One friend from church texted me back and asked me if I had told our new pastor.  I asked her to tell him cause I couldn't talk.  She said she would.  My brother and aunt both talked to my mom.  The pastor ended up calling me and of course my voice was horrible but I am so glad he called.  He is such a great guy.  He even said he would go visit her this week.  He visited her on Easter when she was in Hospital and that was his first day preaching at our church AND a holiday........shows how great he is.  He had even asked my son to read the scripture for tomorrow.....soo cool.
So the friend that I texted invited me and my son and his friends that were staying over out to a nearby lake to go tubing.  My son of course wanted to go.  I didn't but I am glad I did, it got my mind off of things for a while.

When I got home I tried calling my mom again (tried calling her cell earlier and she wouldnt answer) so I called the hospitals line and no answer.  I ended up talking to a nurse and she sounded nice and she said my mom was sleeping and yes she had talked to my mom earlier cause she didnt like her patients to cry.  I thanked her very much and appreciated her efforts.  I laid it on thick cause I know sometimes people need to hear that and it does improve their attitude.  Hers was fine but anyways.

I called her again a few hours ago and she sounded much better.  She said she finally got some pain medication and I guess that is why she slept through the phone rings.  She sounded a lot better, not completely comfortable yet but much better.  Apparently she felt like she was being sent to a Luny Bin.

If you made it this far, I thank you.  I don't want to apologize for venting cause mostly this blog is for me but thanks anyway for listening.  I did not overeat anything today but last night after I came home from hospital I did have a cup o noodles and some wine.  I am still swollen from the sodium but I am not one bit sorry for eating that.  In fact I bought two and the other one is calling my name.  I have plenty of time to flush my system before my weigh-in.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day so Mothers, have a great day!

Weigh-In Wednesday

I have lost a half pound (.5).  Not bad considering I was up a few days ago by a lot.  I will take it and be happy.  I know my body can't continue to lose 2-3 pounds EVERY single week (without the band).  I am not that strong.  I had a bit of a hard time yesterday because I was off and I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think about food.  I did have to go to my drs for an ekg and also my gyno for a pap.  Yeah, I am so excited to say that I have all my tests scheduled.  Next week I will be getting the upper gi and gall bladder test.  Only think is my psych appt.  On the phone he told me it will be 3 visits.  My husband loves to tease me about that.  I guess he thinks I am crazy and that he will want to continue to see me for like a year.  Anyways.  So I am down 21 pounds so far.  Great start.

In case you haven't noticed I changed my Blog title from Tanya's Lap Band Journey (hasn't officially started yet)  to just the Journey part.  I have started so that is super cool.

Well, I better head off to work.  I got two (4 hr) jobs to do today.  Have a great day.

Monday morning wake up

This morning I just had to do it.  I got on the scale.  I knew it would not be good seeing is how I ate some chips the night before.  I tend to retain water very easy apparently.  I was up 6 pounds!  Crazy!  So today I was very diligent.  I had a protein smoothy for breakfast and some coffee, a smart ones meal and special k crackers for lunch and even though I told myself in the morning that I wasnt going to eat what I was planning on making for dinner I did, but not much.  I made enchilada casserole and spinach salad.  I really didnt eat too much.  But right now 10:30 at night I am thinking about food....bad!  I took my mom to the ER about 8:00 and am waiting for a call to tell me they are keeping her or I have to pick her up.  This might sound strange but this is our routine.  My husband just got home and ate the last of the casserole so at least that wont tempt me but when he was eating that was when I started thinking about what I could eat.  It is going to take a lot of willpower for me NOT to eat anything tonight

As I have mentioned before the weekends are usually tough and monday and tuesday is when I kick butt and get back into gear.  I don't know about 6 pounds though, seems like a lot to lose.  I hope it was mostly water but seriously, I dont know.
(pause)
I had to get a load out of dryer.
Well, I made my way to kitchen and got a low-fat string cheese.  I'm thinking that I probably didn't get enough protein in today.  I was a short on my smoothy and I didnt have a protein bar like I usually do for lunch.  I really feel the difference.  I dont usually want to snack so bad at night (anymore) but tonight uughh.  I will fight it.  After this cheese I will drink a bunch of water and lay down.

I will be back to report on Wednesday what my weight it.

Oh and I finally have a psych appt. woo hoo