Random thoughts

Yesterday I was cleaning the house of a girl from church who has had the bypass a year or so ago.  She is 5'9 about 185 and a size 12 now.  She still wants to lose about 20 more and is taking some pill from GNC to help her.  She works from home as some sort of computer training coordinator for HP.  So she is home from 7-3 for sure 5 days a week.  Her husband is a bit on the chunky side.  Ok, what gets me is as I am cleaning up the kitchen I notice a huge canister full of peanut M&Ms.....of course I grabbed a few.  That container looked so cool with all the colors and was just sitting on the counter waiting for someone like me to come along.  Then as I am washing some dishes I grab a pan from the stove with a lid on it and discover a homeade carrot cake with one piece left.  No, I didnt.  What makes me scratch my head is how someone who has just had this major surgery have that stuff around.  How can you walk by it without grabbing a few.  I was telling my husband this and then it hit me..........I AM THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM not her.  Obviously she is able to refrain if she has lost around 100 pounds so far.  I guess its just hard for me to imagine me buying or making those things when I have these kinds of issues with them.  I mean, I am not going to NEVER have them again but I will not keep them there in plain site.

She mentioned to me that her goal weight was around 160 and I said mine too.  She said I will be rail thin.  I dont believe that but then again I cant remember when I was ever 160.  So, hmm I have that as my goal but is that realistic??  I dont know.  I have always been "big-boned" even as a child so I dont know.

I have decided to enjoy the ride to the goal weight.  I hate the idea of how everything will fall into place "once i am at goal"  NO, I am living now and enjoying the little accomplishements.  This morning I was sitting in my chair in the living room and I am looking down at my stomach and I tell my husband (and son is in room too) that I am having a skinny day cause my boobs are more prominent than my belly.  My son asked what prominent meant and I told him that it sticks out........he said oooohhh, thats what the game told him about his ears....... guess he was playing some game that measures him up.  silly huh......it was funny but you had to be there.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day.  I think I am ready.  I have to go to San Diego but if I am up early enough I will post my results before I go.

Thanks for listening :)