True hunger and focus

As far as my goals for this last week goes, I have failed buuuutttt...... let me tell you, I am feeling really good.  I have seriously been concentrating on my stomach the last few days trying to really sense when I am truly hungry and not just desiring to eat.  I started reading this book called "The Weigh Down Diet" and not only am I learning how to really listen to my stomach but I am learning how to turn my attention to God and ask for help.  I have never been very aware of my body so it is a challenge to really understand what true hunger is.  Honestly, I probably have never been truly hungry.  Those of us that are obese probably have that in common that we eat even before our bodies signal it.  So I am enjoying this book and already half-way through it.


I have babbled in the past about my mom and her health issues.  Yes this week was another trying week.  I ended up having to take her to ER (as I mentioned) and trips back and forth can be frustrating but hey, I am not working so I shouldn't complain.  Anyway, a few weeks ago I remember my mom telling me that she was willing to let me tell her how to eat and help her.  Well, when she said that it was when she was in the midst of some sort of an attack and she was desperate for a change.  She really hates being in the hospital.  You might think it is weird that she is asking ME to tell her how to eat but I have really been working hard to eat healthier and making healthy dishes.  Also, my mom is unfortunate to have all her excess weight in her stomach.  She totally looks like she is 9 months pregnant. Her stomach is big and hard.  I know this makes it hard for her lungs.  Now, let me get back to this week.  I have been on my mom's case a little bit about her food.  For instance I made chili and salad one night and she made her bowl (before I could see it) and she covered it with cheese.  When I noticed it I said "look at my bowl, this is how much you should us......a sprinkle".  There was also something else I called her on but I cant recall what it was.  Bad thing is, she would give me a face, like a child.  She is only 56.  Perhaps if she was an old woman she could do that but not her.
Soooooo, I told my husband that I cant..........i just cant try and help her when I am trying to work on myself.  I am a big enough project as it is.  I will continue to cook the healthier meals but I am not going to babysit her.  There isn't any junk food in the house so if she overeats its not like its on chocolate.  She really doesn't eat too bad but because of her health she isn't active.  Oh, get this, she went to the doctor and she lost 6 pounds!  I don't know how, but she loves telling us.  Perhaps it was from her 3 days in the hospital.  Yeah, that's probably it.

Yes, I am going to be selfish and focus on myself.  I am a very moody person and I need to concentrate on making myself healthier.






I need to get back to the gym this week, drink my water and prepare healthy meals for my family whether they like it or not!


Hope everyone has a great week!